Signs to watch out for child sexual abuse.

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Child Sexual Abuse Warning signs

What to look for in adults and children

What is considered child sexual abuse?

Child sexual abuse includes touching and non-touching activity. Some examples of touching activity include:

• Touching a child's genitals or private parts for sexual pleasure
• Making a child touch someone else's genitals, play sexual games or have sex putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, in the mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual pleasure

Some examples of non-touching activity include:

• Showing pornography to a child
• Deliberately exposing an adult's genitals to a child
• Photographing a child in sexual poses
• Encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
  *Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom

As well as the activities described above, there is also the serious and growing problem of people making and downloading sexual images of children on the Internet. To view child abuse images is to participate in the abuse of a child. Those who do so may also be abusing children they know. People who look at this material need help to prevent their behaviour from becoming even more serious.

Warning signs in children and adolescents of possible child sexual abuse

Children often show us rather than tell us that something is upsetting them. There may be many reasons for changes in their behaviour, but if we notice a combination of worrying signs it may be time to call for help or advice.

What to watch out for in children:

*Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects

• Nightmares, sleeping problems
• Becoming withdrawn or very clingy
• Becoming unusually secretive
• Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings and seeming insecure
  *Regressing to younger behaviours, e.g. bedwetting
  *Unaccountable fear of particular places or people
  *Outburst of anger
  *Changes in eating habits
  *New adult words for body parts and no obvious source
  *Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts
• Self-harm (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
  *Physical signs, such as, unexplained soreness or bruises around genitals or mouth, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy
  *Running away
  *Not wanting to be alone with a particular child or young person

Any one sign doesn't mean that a child was or is being sexually abused, but the presence of several suggests that you should begin to ask questions and consider seeking help. Keep in mind that some of these signs can emerge at other times of stress such as:

• During a divorce
• Death of a family member or pet
• Problems at school or with friends
  Other anxiety-inducing or traumatic events

Physical warning signs

Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare, however, if you see these signs, take your child to a doctor. Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.

Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training

Signs that an adult may be using their relationship with a child for sexual reasons

The signs that an adult is using their relationship with a child for sexual reasons may not be obvious. We may feel uncomfortable about the way they play with the child, or seem always to be favouring them and creating reasons for them to be alone.

There may be cause for concern about the behaviour of an adult or young person if they:

• Refuse to allow a child sufficient privacy or to make their own decisions on personal matters.
• Insist on physical affection such as kissing, hugging or wrestling even when the child clearly does not want it.
• Are overly interested in the sexual development of a child or teenager.
• Insist on time alone with a child with no interruptions.
• Spend most of their spare time with children and have little interest in spending time with people their own age.
• Regularly offer to baby-sit children for free or take children on overnight outings alone.
• Buy children expensive gifts or give them money for no apparent reason.
• Frequently walk in on children/teenagers in the bathroom.
• Treat a particular child as a favourite, making them feel 'special' compared with others in the family.
• Pick on a particular child.

Child abuse among children and young people
Age appropriate sexual behaviour

We all know that children pass through different stages of development as they grow, and that their awareness and curiosity about sexual matters change as they pass from infancy into childhood and then through puberty to adolescence. Each child is an individual and will develop in his or her own way. However, there is a generally accepted range of behaviours linked to a child’s age and developmental stage. Sometimes these will involve some exploration with other children of a similar age. It can be difficult to tell the difference between age appropriate sexual exploration and warning signs of harmful behaviour. Occasionally we may need to explain to children why we would prefer them not to continue with a particular behaviour.

This is a chance to talk with them about keeping themselves and others safe and to let them know that you are someone who will listen. Disabled children may develop at different rates, depending on the nature of their disability, and they can be more vulnerable to abuse. Children with learning disabilities, for example, may behave sexually in ways that are out of step with their age. Particular care may be needed in educating such children to understand their sexual development and to ensure that they can communicate effectively about any worries they have.

It is important to recognise that while people from different backgrounds have different expectations about what is acceptable behaviour in children, sexual abuse happens across all races and cultures. Remember that each child develops at his or her own pace and not every child will show the behaviours described below. If you have any worries or questions about a child you know, talk to someone about it. Your health visitor, GP or child’s teacher may be able to help, or you could ring the Stop it Now!

Pre-school children (0-5) years commonly:

Use childish ‘sexual’ language to talk about body parts 
Ask how babies are made and where they come from
Touch or rub their own genitals
Show and look at private parts

They rarely:

Discuss sexual acts or use sexually explicit language
Have physical sexual contact with other children
Show adult-like sexual behaviour or knowledge  

School-age children (6-12 years) commonly:

Ask questions about menstruation, pregnancy and other sexual behaviour
Experiment with other children, often during games, kissing, touching, showing and role playing e.g. mums and dads or doctors and nurses
Masturbate in private

They rarely:

Masturbate in public
Show adult like sexual behaviour or knowledge

Adolescents:

Ask questions about relationships and sexual behaviour
Use sexual language and talk between themselves about sexual acts
Masturbate in private
Experiment sexually with adolescents of similar age