SEARCHING FOR MUM...
I have been stewing for the last couple of days since speaking to my Social Worker. I have never had any patience so having to wait for 4 months to possibly talk about getting my file, doesn't fill me with much hope, this may sound selfish on my part but I don't want to dwell on this too long, I just want to know the truth, then move on with my life!!
I was speaking to my bezzie Sash, smiley girl on the right in the picture above, she suggested we did some investigating ourselves! Sash no longer lives on the same street where we grew up but she still lives in the city, so I caught a very early train from Milton Keynes and met up with my bezzie and her mum at Nottingham train station around 9 o'clock this morning.
We headed over to the Radford area of Nottingham, I didn't really remember any of it to be honest, Sash's mum Gemma grew up in the area so she knew it very well, soon we pulled into Hartley Road. We didn't really have a plan, find my old house, then knock some doors, we had nothing to lose! The first problem was that every front door looked the same to me, no recollection of the house number, or which end of the street to start knocking. Luckily Gemma could remember roughly where my house was so we started knocking. We knocked doors together because the information I have about her is limited, hopefully Gemma would know someone. A couple of hours went by, we spoke to people, told them my mum's name, Gemma or Sash didn't recognise anyone.
We popped into the local shop to get a drink, Gemma recognised the owner, they started chatting, he said he remembers faces better than names, if I had a photograph he might know her, another dead end. It started to rain so we decided to find somewhere to eat.
We ordered our meal, I had no idea what else we could do after lunch, we'd knocked on doors, spoke to people, nobody knew anything, I was ready to give up. Gemma suggested we go to the local council and have a look at the electoral role, she wasn't sure if we were allowed to but we had nothing to lose by asking.
Our meals arrived, we were about halfway through, when Gemma and Sash spotted someone they knew, a hug and a kiss later and they were chatting at the table, Sash introduced me to her, she asked what we were doing in the area, so Gemma explained, the woman, Tonya, said she knew of my mum, my heart pounded, I asked her what she knew about her, she frowned and turned to Gemma, she seemed like she was avoiding the question, Gemma gave her the nod, almost as if she was telling her it was OK to speak.
Tonya told us that she hadn't seen my mum in the area for about 2 years, she told me she was the local drunk who often got arrested for shoplifting, I asked her about drugs, she told me she wasn't aware of any drug use. She said that she used to hang around the Wetherspoons pub in the city centre, she would often see her waiting for it to open. I felt a bit embarrassed to be honest. She gave us the name of a man she used to see her with and suggested we go down to Wetherspoons and ask a few questions. We had a lead, his name was Gordon. She didn't know his last name but he was well known in the city centre.
We finished lunch and headed to the city centre, we found the pub, it was very busy. I tried to get the barman's attention but he was busy, Sash tugged at my sleeve, telling me to be patient. Finally it was our turn, first we asked him about my mum, he didn't know her, then we asked him if he knew Gordon, he knew who we were talking about instantly, the pain in the arse he called him!! He told us that he was in most days from 9.30 in the morning, he had been in the pub but left about an hour before we arrived. I began to feel a bit deflated, then he pointed to a group of four older men sitting in the corner, Gordon's friends.
They were a little bit drunk so Gemma took the lead, one of the men patted the seat next to him for her to sit down, me and Sash sat at the next table, I don't like drunk old men, we could still hear the conversation though. She asked him if he knew where Gordon was, the man said "Why?" and "Are you the police?" Gemma said no, we just wanted to talk to him and it was important. The others joined in the conversation, then she asked them if they knew my mum - they all said YES!!
Apparently mum hadn't lived in the area for over 2 years, she had been sent to prison for 12 months for shoplifting and assault, she wasn't allowed to come back to Nottingham after she was released from prison, which was a condition of her release, she was now living at a bail hostel in Derby. Gordon was still in contact with her but wouldn't be in again until tomorrow. Gemma asked him if he knew where Gordon lived, he said he didn't know, then another man said he lived in a homeless hostel locally, the same hostel as him. Gemma asked if he could show us where it was, he agreed.
Over an hour later we were still waiting for him to finish his drink, finally he got up and put his coat on. We gave him a lift to the hostel, Gordon was asleep in a chair in the foyer. The man woke him up, he had certainly had a few to drink, they want to know where Tina (mum) is Gordon, he fumbled in his pocket and pulled out all sorts of rubbish, threw it all on a table and closed his eyes, without saying a word. Gemma sorted through some change, dirty tissues, papers and train tickets. She found an address for a hostel in Derby. We had the information we came for and I am one step closer to finding out the truth - tomorrow we are going to Derby - who needs Social Workers!!!
UPDATE
We headed over to Derby yesterday and found the bail hostel. We went inside and spoke to a nice guy who was the duty manager. I explained what we were doing there and he said he couldn't confirm or deny if anyone called Tina lived at the hostel. House rules I think!! I felt a bit disappointed but I'm not one for taking no for an answer, so I scribbled my phone number down and gave it to him, just in case mum does live there, he took it from me so I'm hopeful. Tomorrow we will try and speak to Gordon again, hopefully sober, he may have some more information about mum.
Good for you taking the initiative to find your mom yourself with the help of your friend!
My thought is that it is very likely your mother became a drunk only AFTER they took you and your little brother away from her. That would be more than enough for most people to fall into despair and hopelessness.
I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of your investigation.
I had the same thought myself, I have an update which I am going to put on the end of this post.
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I hope that you will share the rest of what you discovered with us soon! I see that you have not been on Steemit for a while now.
I agree on @canadian-coconuts comment. I can imagine that she must have been devastated by them taking you, and turned into alcohol to numb her feelings. The only reason I did not lost track after losing my 2 precious children, was because my boyfriend was there with me supporting me the whole time. If I'd been alone to deal with this, I probably would have lost my mind. I hope you hear from her, and I can only hope this will get her back on track in the future. I will follow your story, stay strong!