It Isn't Feeling Christmassy...

I really don't care much for holidays, because over the years, I had to work many of them. They were just another day in a long run of days. Now that I am not working daily, they are still just another day, with special names other than just Monday, Tuesday, etc. Yet when Christmas rolled around, I was like a child, and looked forward to it's arrival.

This year is one of the first that Christmas will just be another day, and I really can't wait for it's passing. Not so much for me, but for my wife. Shes had a very hard and disappointing year. From increasing health issues to family members being assholes which has set the tone for her sadness and disappointments.

Unlike myself, my wife takes everything to heart, and usually pins blame for others deeds on herself, or at the very least takes responsibility when it doesn't belong to her. Me, I put blame where it belongs and have very little tolerance for ignorance and stupidity.

A Screwed Up Year

This was the year a family member went on a crime spree of epic proportions, from stealing cars, stealing mail, which lead to identity theft, to spending money that wasn't theirs, and break-ins. A spree that went on for months, only to end in our bathroom a few weeks ago.

It ended when 8 policemen and women arrived at our door, and two stood vigilante down below in the apartment complex parking lot. There was no breaking down doors, no guns drawn, although two of the officers held their hands hovering over their tasers. They just knocked on the door, asked if so and so was there, and on getting their answer asked if they could enter.

Although a little coaxing to get so and so to surrender was involved, the whole thing only took about and hour start to finish, all the while I'm shaking and my wife is sobbing. Even knowing it was for the best, it didn't make her pain and heartache disappear.

The amount of charges so far laid are just a testament to the many crimes involved, lets just say there are many. So and so didn't act alone, and his accomplice has several charges as well. They haven't had a criminal past and are walking around on the outside on bail, so and so more than likely will not be, and spend their time in jail from now till trial till sentence is completed.

So This is Christmas

My wife had a very hard upbringing, came from a very dysfunctional family, and even spent time in foster care. Many Christmases came and went, and she never saw a gift, and family togetherness was a complte unknown to her. So when she and I met, and that very first Christmas came, she was overwhelmed when she received so many gifts, and we, the whole family came together and actually enjoyed each others company. A tradition she has since carried on with our own children and grand children.

Since we have been together, this time of year has always been very special to my wife, and has always been spent with family. A time to get together, have some fun, exchange gifts, stories, jokes, and have a few glasses of holiday cheer. Sadly when someone isn't in that little circle of loved ones, it has a devastating effect, on my wife. If someone is missing because they went to the great beyond, that is something she can deal with, but when it comes to be because of simple greed and stupidity, she finds it hard to comprehend. It broke my heart to see her silently crying to herself the other evening, and later hear her say, it doesn't feel very Christmassy this year, I can't wait for it to be over. Sadly, no amount of talking and even lying to try and take her hurt away is working, so this year Christmas is just another day, in a long year of days...

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