Attention! Attention!- How to handle attention seeking behavior

Ever wonder what has gotten into your child? It's almost like they are trying to give you a hard time! Maybe...but it is more likely they are trying to get your attention.
Here are a few examples:
You have a phone call from a potential employer. Your child has been playing quietly until now. Now he is grabbing hold of your leg, saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy".
You are at church and you are walking toward the door, but a friend stops you and you talk for a few minutes. Your child starts pulling his little sister's hair.
What? Your angels never act like this? Maybe you just weren't paying attention.

And that is the purpose. Don't get me wrong, it is often not a well thought out plan. It is just learned behavior. When they quietly stood next to you the last time you stopped to talk to a friend, they got no attention whatsoever, right? But if a little chaos is created- presto-whammo- you stop what you are doing and immediately speak to them. Then you realize that you are not going to be able to complete this conversation without more chaos, so you go home. Their attention seeking behavior was rewarded. Pretty smart, if you think about it.
SO, that leaves us with the question, what to do about it? Well first consider that attention seeking is not necessarily a bad thing. I know, I know. This goes against everything you have previously heard. In the past, parental sages have advised us to ignore attention seeking behavior. What happens when we do this? Your kids will AMP it up! Now, if your child is in full tantrum, ignoring is often a good strategy.
But let's consider a more pro-active approach-preparation. You know that every time you go to church you are going to stop and talk to your buddy. That's at least half the reason you want to go to church. So, prepare. On the way to church say to your child, "Honey, you know how you like to talk to your friends at church? So do I. I will probably talk to Miss Nancy after wards. I need you to not interrupt me. You can color in your coloring book or have a little snack from the snack bag while we are talking."

The first time you do this, be sure you keep your conversation relatively short. Your child is learning a new behavior-being considerate of others. This is a skill that will serve them and you well for years to come. If you keep it short, they are more likely to be successful.
The next step is very important. Praise! Be sure you praise them for their good behavior after ward. "Thank you for being so considerate and not interrupting!" You can even give them a small treat if you like, but don't make it all about the treat. Make it about how grown up they are becoming and how proud you are.

And if you are at home one day, fooling around on your phone and you notice your child is getting a tad loud-don't get mad and don't put your earphones in to drown them out. They are sending you a message, "Pay attention to me." They need you. So stop what your're doing if you can and spend some time with them. Ask them what they are doing. Play a game with them. Learn about who they are. You won't regret it.