"How should I tell my family I'm dating an older man.."
Hello everyone,
Hope you are doing well.
Do you remember the times when dating older men looked suspicious and wrong in modern society? Neither do I. Here we have a young lady, no older than 18 who is dating, a man 33 years of age. She feels uncomfortable about the way people look at their relationship, even their families. She asks the following question:
first of all, I'm not here to be told I should stay away from older men, as they will just use me, or to be told to question why he's not with someone his own age. We know this isn't an ordinary relationship. We like each other a lot, have a lot in common and want a future.
Our families know we're seeing each other haven't met the other in the relationship, and are unaware of the age difference.
We'll have to tell them eventually, but how do we go about this? I don't want things to be awkward if both our families shame us for it.
I'm dating a much older man, obviously neither of our families are going to be all too happy about it but we have to break it to them if we're serious for a long amount of time, we don't want them to be so unaccepting of it that it makes things uncomfortable for us.
What's the best way to ease this information on them?
Credit: agegapthrowaway1234 : Reddit
My opinion
First of all you cannot escape from people or society's judgement, people will judge you regardless and even when they don't think they are .
Personally dating men of older age in the recent times have been seen as weird or wrong when it was perfectly acceptable over a hundred years ago. However, back then women right's weren't as strong as they are right now. This doesn't negate the fact that dating older men will mean you have less rights as a woman. But this is just background information.
Speaking from you're family's point of view I think they would probably say no is that, you are young and you have a lot of life ahead of you so they would probably like it if you date a guy who is around about the same age as you or shares something common around your age. They see having a older man as you're partner as someone who doesn't share anything in common with you or someone who is a bit too mature for your age or someone who is more closer to the age of you're parents, which can seem kinda awkward if you're daughter is dating a guy around about your're age.
Speaking from his family's point of view, dating a girl about the age of 18 is the same as dating a teenager, even though she is legally an adult now. They will probably see the similar problems as her family, too young and immature.
With that said, first of all each of you need to talk to you're parents alone first and then break it down to them slowly after that introduce the partner to each of them separately. Once that is done , then bring you parents together in one room and talk about the strong points of why you like each and why they should not judge you based on just age difference alone.
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Social concepts about the age of marriage are constantly changing ... but so are the standards of beauty. My mom used to say that a 40-year-old was considered elderly when she was at university. It seems to me that this has become a mature youth now)) Show your parents examples from dating sites - https://bestondating.com/review/elite-singles/ Let them see with their own eyes that your choice is ok now. I believe that such marriages are the strongest and have a good material base so as not to think about it.