MAKING MARRIAGES TO WORK
There is a popular saying that "marriage is a beautiful thing and to get married is one of the most important accomplishments in a person's life". So therefore, marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman to become a husband and a wife. Or marriage can also be defined as a ceremony that takes place after an agreement is made between two persons of opposite sex to become a family when certain conditions set by the parents of the woman are agreed upon. Before a marriage takes place a man must have met with a woman to show his affection for her and ask for her hands in marriage, there are some other certain qualities that both of them should have seen in each other, some of which are; beauty, handsomeness, good characters, degree of affection, good morals and values, how religious they are and most importantly there should be a strong affection between the two of them. A man can not marry a woman he doesn't love and a woman can never marry a man she doesn't love; and if they do, such marriages can never last long.
Marriage happens majorly once in a person's life time. Though, a times, a person may get tired of his/her partner and can no longer bear it anymore due to a long time perseverance, endurance and changes that do not work and may lead to a divorce and if the divorce happens successfully, that may prompt such a married man or woman into getting married to another person of his/her choice.
But in today's world, there are several reports of divorcement between married men and women; what then should be done to make marriages work?
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Firstly, before a man can propose to a woman, there must have been a higher level of affection between the two of them. Love is the most important and tectonic feature that must exist in a relationship before it leads to a marriage. Where there is love, every other thing works well. So therefore, to a make a marriage work, both husband and wife must show enough love to each other. Love must be shown to one's partner everyday and every time. An amenable wife must show to her husband how much she loves him every time and a responsible husband must never get tired of his wife, he should always do things that will make her happy; whenever a wife is made happy, she too should return the favour by being thankful and appreciative; in doing so, the marriage kept stronger, more prosperous and fruitful.
Furthermore, in a marriage there must exist a greater degree of tolerance between the couple. For example, some women are known to be hot tempered; a man that marries such a wife having known that as her attitude should be tolerant and when she starts her behaviour, he should not be too hasty, he should exercise patient, calm down and solve whatever the problem is without getting annoyed or infuriated.
More so, one of the things that make a marriage work is when the two lovers trust each other. Whenever the husband says something, his wife should believe him and never should she doubt her lover and same also for the husband; in a marriage, if there exists little or no trust between the two lovers, there will always be skepticism, mistrust, misdoubt, distrust, dubitation and in whatever they do, they will always be suspicious of each other. For example, if a husband works late at his place of work and he goes back home lately; if there is no trust, the wife may think that his husband has gotten another woman outside or he goes out to enjoy himself by visiting club houses or bars that's why he goes home lately and if care is not taken the wife will confront him and it may lead to a serious problem which may scatter their marriage. By and large, if there's a trust between them, there won't be any reason for her to doubt his movements.
Also, there is a popular saying in Africa that most women love money and they can do anything to be financially okay. And so, for a marriage to work; the husband must satisfy his wife financially and monetarily, any time his wife asks for money to buy or use for anything, he should be willing to give her.
But be that it may, sometimes the husband may not be financially balanced enough to provide for the family, in such cases; a responsible wife should be helpful and supportive to him, she should be ready to pay the costs of their living whenever there is any need for her to, till her husband gets better financially and everything changes for better.
Another important factor that that makes a marriage work is sexual satisfaction. It is important that both of them are happy with their sexual relationship. For instance, whenever the husband feels the urge to have a sexual satisfaction, his wife must be ready at all time to give him the enough satisfaction that he needs and whenever a wife is horny and is in dire need of it, her husband too must satisfy her thirst for sexual relation. In addition, both of them should always discuss their sexual relationship with each other as at when needed. A husband must not restrict his wife from coming closer to him and a wife must not neglect her husband anytime she is called upon to make love. It is when the two partners come together and have sexual intercourse that the wife gets pregnant and they make babies but if they don't have a good sexual relationship how can the wife be pregnant? A marriage with children lasts longer than a marriage without a child.
Additionally, for a marriage to work perfectly, there must exist some degrees of communication between the couple; a wife should be free to say out whatever it is that bothers her and her husband must be ready to hear out. A husband must always find time to sit his wife down, have one or two discussions with her; though, it may not necessarily be a discussion that deals with their relationship, he may come up with a topic say for example what happens in his work place. Comparatively, a wife should try to start a conversation with her lover too, it may be a discussion on their relationship, family matters, their youthful days, school days, et cetera. If a husband and a wife communicates regularly, they get to each other more and more which in turn increases the level of affection between them. Criticism must be avoided every time and if there is any need for that, it should always be a constructive one. Any statement that may cause avoidable rift must be prevented from coming out of their mouths.
In a marriage, there must be a level of respect between the couples. The husband's or the wife's opinions must be respected. A husband must understand that his wife is very important, unique, serious, et cetera and should be treated in an proper way and the wife also must replicate such. A husband must understand his wife always and he too must be understandable by his wife. They should not give room for unnecessary argument, though they can disagree but it shouldn't take much time before they reconcile.
In life, two people can not be together without a quarrel happening but whenever there is a rift between them; they should be willing to forgive each other. A husband may offend his wife and a wife may do something wrong but if any of them realises that a mistake has occurred they should take their time to forgive each other and prevent such occurrence from happening again.
Moreover, commitment is a very important point to consider. A married man should not have an extra marital affair with another woman and a married woman must not go out on a date with another man except her husband alone. In short, a married man must not cheat on his better half and a wife must not search for satisfactions that are out of her marriage.
Besides, a husband must be helpful in performing the house chores, the wife should not be the only one doing the house chores like washing, cleaning, cooking, et cetera; if the husband is less busy and he is around, he too should assist his wife in performing one or two tasks. By doing that, it shows how caring the husband is and if he continues with such acts, the marriage will be kept longer.
Women are known to be talkative and hypocritical in nature, nevertheless, a married woman must not talk about her relationship to anybody; if there is a fight between her and her significant other, they should try and settle it amicably between themselves without involving any outsider who may not want them together.
Comparatively, to make a marriage work, responsibilities of parents in their children must not be centred only on a parent, it should be collaboration between the parents and the parental duties must be carried out collectively. A husband must not be too engrossed with his work to the extent that he does not know how well his children are performing in school and a wife should not leave all the monetary aspects to her husband alone, she should help him sort out some bills if he is not around or when he has less.
Withal, a husband and his wife should always find time to go out on a date, travel together, go to cinemas, go shopping and have nice times together.
In conclusion, to make a marriage work; there are several ways by which it can be achieved; love must be shared between the husband and his wife, they must trust each other, they must be patient with each other, there should be a higher level of conformism, they should be willing to help each other when the need arises, both husband and his wife must communicate regularly so as to know more about each other and most importantly is the sexual relationship, a husband and his wife must make love and have an abundant romantic moments together. If all these and many of these are done, marriages will work better and couples too will live a happy, prosperous and fruitful lives together and forever.