Why do we fight and how to fight it

You do not quarrel with your partner? So, you are free or already divorced. This humorous phrase by psychologists say that family life is not without quarrels. If you behave properly in times of conflict, the deterioration of your relationship is quite possible to be avoided.

Try to understand why E clashing. And for many people, the answer is obvious: it nedosalivala soup, and he has brought into the hall dirt on the shoes. However, such domestic conflicts can be resolved.

It is believed that quarrels can not be people who are madly in love with each other. Perhaps this is so because when people are really good, they do not have any ulterior motive of the quarrel. They certainly are, but it is only for that would cheer up the relationship. This couple knows how to calm each other what to say, how to respond. But it is not so often in life, as we would like. Often the conflict broke out suddenly - a kind of signal that the husband or wife have a concern in their relationship. Therefore, it is not necessary to examine the shortcomings of a loved one under a magnifying glass. In such a situation it is necessary to admit that the reason is not in  it, and expectations that may not be justified on his part.
So how should behave in conflict situations? The purpose of the conflict is to change attitudes in the right side for you. And for that you need to properly and competently fighting, that there were no consequences.

In no case do not get personal. Contact your partner quietly. Try to use in conversation pronoun "I" instead of "you." It is not necessary to evaluate the actions and words of the partner. Say only what you feel, "I hurt your words", "this unexpected decision for me." Do not criticize, thereby you pour oil into the fire. And when you talk about your feelings, you offer partners a peaceful and quiet conversation.

Do not generalize. The quarrel is always on a particular subject, so do not remember all that was before. Do not you dare say such things as: the time, always, as usual. Well it does not end because the partner will doubt your sincerity.
Do not touch the patient. Such as: past failures (because they were each), intimate confessions,  compared to a man who is a bad example, etc. This way you do not try to  solve the problem, and add new topics to quarrel...
It is necessary to turn off the language with a negative value - "Dummy", "drunk", "parasite", "Krivoruchko." As the quarrel forgotten sooner or later, and the negative a word will be remembered very long.

It will be very good if you quarrel will translate into a joke and use humor. Extinguish quarrel help bring the situation to a ridiculous analogy, absurdity, stupidity.

Do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness if you feel guilty. Yield to each other, it is very important in family life. It is not necessary to prove their case, better tell me how you love and how you value a partner relationship.
Best final argument - this reconciliation. Talk to your partner about your feelings, try to calmly discuss what happened. Do the right conclusions quarrels need for what would understand each other better. Yet to my mind the best row - the one that escaped.