I'm going to take this week off from the Puppet Making Series to talk about something else on this "Mommy Monday"... something a bit timely.

Mother's Day

I keep seeing ads for all the things you should buy for your Mother for Mother's Day. I see all the "If you love your mom, you'll buy her this product" type thing

BUT here is the Real Deal:

Dear Kids,

I know you're mostly all grown now and have your own lives. I know you're being bombarded with ads everywhere telling you to buy your mother things so that she'll feel loved and appreciated.

Now, just so you know, this isn't a sappy letter where I tell you I don't want gifts, because your company is all I need.

Nah... y'all ruined that idea, because I already see you guys all the time. I want presents, too! :)

HOWEVER, I don't like flowers, don't waste your money.

I don't like cards unless they're hilarious AND you've written something semi-legibly in it that actually means something. It can even be sarcastic as hell, because I know that's kind of our thing. Or it can be sweet and sappy, but if by the slim chance I'm wearing makeup, give it to me later, because I promise I'll cry if you write something sappy. ANY of you.

Since I see you kids all the damn time already anyway, I'm not sure I even need a special holiday, but for the record, I'm going to eat a lot that day, so feel free to bring me my favorite foods. I'll take pizza or steak or... OOOH! A piece of that white cake from Sprouts where you boys work. Or sponge candy or... hell. I shouldn't have started writing this on a fasting day. I'll just say this, whichever one of you gets the best food, you get an extra day of being my favorite this week. ;)

Now here's where it gets difficult to ask you guys for anything. You know I'm shitty about holidays. I very much prefer to just do things when the mood strikes. The thing I love most, the thing that I truly appreciate most about you guys, is that you do the same thing.

These are the Major Ongoing gifts that you already do quite often, that you can keep doing, because it seems far more awesome than any "holiday" could provide:

_{Kainan's 18th birthday when he wanted a road trip with his friends and family. It was AWESOME.}

Spending one on one time with your siblings for random reasons/no reason on your own time just because you're awesome. Whether it's you guys hitting the mall together, going to see your favorite movie series for the first midnight showing or taking off for a quick bite to eat or some ice cream... or just hanging out to talk or do makeup or whatEVER. It doesn't matter. It seriously does such sappy things to my cold cold heart that you would probably be shocked.

Seeing you guys with your two little nephews is pretty damn sweet, too. I can't even tell you. <3

The way you all seem to stop by to chat with me on a regular basis for no reason other than you like talking to me. (Plus, family nights every week are pretty freaking cool, too) I love that you come by after work or when you get up before work. The fact that you all STILL talk to me about everything under the sun is incredible to me.

And maybe what is even better is that you have always and STILL recognize how rare it is that we do talk to each other about everything. You guys are so damned thankful and appreciative of our relationship(s) and that alone is just The Best Gift Ever. Seriously. I don't need another thing...

Okay, but I want another thing. But be creative, because I don't want any typical stuff. (Not that I'm worried about you being normal)

Maybe you could make a million dollars (each) so you can buy us all some land in Colorado to go build our houses on together while we raise llamas, goats for Tiberius and dad to herd, chickens mmm fresh eggs, garden for vegetables and weed. Kainan can go hunting for elk to feed us through the winter and Jaedin can help set up solar power and whatever else we need techie wise before he leaves for his boat. Paris and Jazz can set up and be in charge of the greenhouse and the art studio. Abyni is going to be in charge of music and Lord knows what else she'll be taking on. Sprite and Matt will have to help with the gardening and the animals... and I guess we'll all have to pitch in for building houses for everyone, because I want my own space. You can live next door, but I want my own damn kitchen.

Oh! And a milk cow that someone else milks, because ew. Plus, you all owe me some milk. ha

Anyway, I just had to say it, because all of the Mother's Day advertising is making me realize how freaking spoiled I am already with you amazing humans.

_{Photo Credit to Kara Singleton of KS Visual Media}
I must not have messed up too badly, because you guys are some of the best, most entertaining, loyal, smart, loving and adventurous humans I know.

Click the icons to read some of my other posts!

Storytime Saturday: Psychological Thriller

Sunday Funnies: Letters from a Boat Cat

Mommy Monday: Puppet Making Series, Part Two

Try Something NEW Tuesday: Crazy Karaoke & Vlog

Weightloss Wednesday: ONE YEAR!!! Progress and Meal Plans

Therapy Thursday: I Gave Up Alcohol for One Year

_{Photos & graphics are mine except where they are linked to their source} .