I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing

'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean

My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy