41 days in heaven..

People who matter to us play an integral role in our lives. They are present in every important occasion, part of the successes in our endeavors. They serve as a torch leading us to the light. Last month is an up and down ride for all of us. Our Minister has gone to its permanent dwelling abode.

Up until now, it is like a dream which I want to wake up and as usual go to church seeing him at the main entrance extending his warm hand and will ask how I am or where is my husband if he can’t see him around. He is one of the reasons why I learned and still learning how to speak in front of the crowd. His voice is still vivid in my mind saying “You can do it” nodding his head at the same time for affirmation. He really touched many lives that’s one thing I am proud of him aside of being the most handsome pastor in town as he always claiming and everybody agreed. The crown of being one can’t be passed on to anyone. He dressed elegantly, making sure he is presentable even he only run for normal errands, from haircut to nail grooming, everybody noticed, he took good care of his grooming... He is a good singer and has a sharp ear to music. One look from him and we know there’s something we need to improve either in music, service or in the projector. He really loves to eat when he travels. He laughs a lot and will support you, give advice when you need it. I am amazed at how flexible he is, he could be a brother, father, friend to everyone. He can even transform into a kid when he is in the kids' group. He is sweet, he knows the birthday of his members and will greet on your birthdate first thing in the morning. I will miss his texts now that my birthday is near. I can’t remember a year he didn’t greet me on my birthday.

It’s been 14 years, we spend our Christmas and New Year together. I still couldn’t imagine how we can spend it this year without him. I am sure it makes a big difference since he is one of the judges when we have games, he is the timer, I forgot to emphasize he is always on time or earlier than the time set. He respects the time of others and doesn’t like someone to wait for him. When we attend any church activity knowing him, he will leave without you when you don’t appear on the agreed time. He is the driver as well in our church vehicle so we don’t have any choice but to be an early bird🙂. He had house rules imposed which I want to adapt, to be always on time and a great planner. He is the father of management. A futuristic and organized man. He managed our church for almost 20 years with 300-400 members. There is a great transformation and progress because he is a good manager. He sacrificed a lot I know this for sure, financially wise he could have an extravagant lifestyle but he chose to humble himself and serve. He is one of the smartest people I know. He makes a stand on what he believes in and not afraid to rebuke and discipline any wrongdoing. He does it with love. He could have been a Dean to a university or work overseas, secure a job in a corporate world but this man goes to remote areas instead miles away from the city to preach the word of GOD.

I could write endless good things about his selfless being but one thing for sure, He is now happy up there. He fought a good fight, He won the race. Yes, we are destined to die but things are so unpredictable and fast just a blink of an eye, at first it is difficult to accept. A week before he was hospitalized we are in the same room which always been the case every time we had our summer camp. We never thought it is the last summer camp with him. Who would have thought when you know him as health-conscious, witnessed how energetic he is as a speaker in the said event, all of a sudden, he is in a critical state. Every one of us was shocked. This is not real until we couldn’t wake up from our worst nightmare. Reality slapped us in the face so hard. If I have the power I will extend even just 10 years for him to live. I even negotiated in my prayer but GOD has the final say. His mission here on earth is finished… He is now back to our creator.

His life is a blessing to all of us. Cliché as they say but it’s true, life is really short and unpredictable. Only God knows when will be our last breath on earth. It is a reminder to all of us to enjoy life, spread love to others, live in peace and be grateful every day we are alive. Our minister Kuya Edgar lived a life that matters. He united a broken family, relationships. He builds dreams, character, and confidence in people. He adopts those who are lost and gave a home. His heart is so big; he is capable to love all of us. I wonder how on earth we fit in his heart, loving and serving 400 people is not an easy job. He loved us and dedicates his life serving us, his members. It is very rare to find a man like him.

We missed him. It is still flashing in my mind when I visited him in the ICU, tears flow in his eyes I couldn’t bear to see him in pain. I am used seeing him teasing, it makes him happy. He is always updated even to the love life of his members, he will always tell you to pray for it...

God will give you the best.

Things are different now that he is not around. It’s like all of us were reset and don’t know where to start. It’s difficult to embark without the captain steering the rudder. Good thing he did not left us with nothing. He molds someone to take over his place. Even on his death, he is still thinking for the sake of everybody. Even in his condition, he is still joking around, spreading positivity.

It’s been 41 days since he left us. There is a deep wound in our hearts, yes it hurt so badly. I can’t explain how painful it is, but I know my pain will not even give a pinch compared to the pain of his wife and family. Everyone is broken when he left it is like a broken glass scattered everywhere, we can’t bring it back again no matter how much we try. He is gone but his legacy remains. I know he wouldn’t want us to stop giving thanks to HIM in all circumstances whether good or bad. I know he will not be happy if we will not continue what he started.

41 days of longing…
41 days of grief…
41 days of emptiness…
41 days of trying...
41 days of recovering…
41 days of celebrating his life...
41 days in heaven…

41 days in his HOME. …

Yes, He is now HOME.