Feeling alone

I could be surrounded by numerous people and still feel alone. It's dark and cloudy in my head. It's hard to focus, even with the laughter in the background. All I hear is my own heart beating. It takes me awhile to open up to people but when I do, I blindly open up completely to them. I allow myself to be vulnerable. My weakness.

I always thought I'd be single for long until I met my now boyfriend. Things were good. I wasn't lonely as much. He was there giving me comfort with his presence. But in the last few days he has been distant. I tried to call, he didn't have much words for me. I texted him, he asked for space. I'm back to phase one. Alone; even when surrounded by many people. My heart pulls my body down with this heavy feeling. I try not to rely on people. I tell myself I'm enough to make myself happy. But it doesn't work that way. I still feel low. I still feel lonely and I cannot begin to express it to the people around me.