Are You Hiding The REAL You? Why Authenticity May Be What You’re Missing

au.then.tic
adjective

1. of undisputed origin; genuine.

The thing about personal authenticity is it’s incredibly hard to fake. We aren’t talking about paintings or baseball cards here. We’re talking character, expression and personality.

Authenticity is hard to come by. When we see it, we know it and applaud it.

Tribes are built around authentic people and authentic brands.

In my lifetime I’ve come to believe there is one reason why most people suppress their authenticity: “F E A R”

There’s a stigma attached to anything considered outside of social conformity. And no one admits to stepping outside of these acceptable norms, let alone building a brand or business with a culture that breaks these rules.

YET authenticity is where the magic is.

At some point early in our lives we are taught socially acceptable norms. We’re taught the “correct way” to eat, dress, talk, groom, speak, interact, work and so forth.

We’re brought up learning that stepping out of line, literally, is unacceptable behavior. Certain words should never be spoken and the difference between what’s right and wrong is defined for us and embedded in our mental software.

We’re taught to feel bad about certain behavior, even guilty and our subconscious will unfortunately begin to identify truly authentic people as “weird” or somehow infected with faulty software that makes them look and act different from the other well behaved clones.

There are some extremely important elements to this practice of course. We can’t have a society without rules or few things would get done, safety would be compromised and who knows what the hell else would happen.

However the bi-product is a society of fairly inauthentic people in fear of showing their true authenticity to the world because by definition this would require you to be “different”.

It’s the people who go against the grain that we admire. Some of the most successful people in the world stand out simply because of the courage to, well, stand out. We love entertainers for the apparent freedom they enjoy. We envy their freedom to wear, act and say how they feel while you fear your friends may laugh at you for wearing that fedora you’ve been dying to put on. It’s those “tattoo’d youngsters” who “will regret the ink one day”, but deep down you want to go get one too.

This same mindset is the one that creeps up in your business and feels afraid to do anything that your subconscious mind tells you people will be uncomfortable with. This mindset breeds mediocrity and softens the edges of any sharp, creative thinking.

Self expression is scary. Whether it’s your business or yourself, there’s something built in that will try hard to bottle it up even though it desperately wants to let it out. It’s scary to say what you really want to be or who you really are. We have our guard up the majority of our lives and so few get to know the real person behind the veneer.

Fear is why so few live and breathe authenticity. This is why the media uncovers high profile hypocrites for fighting against or opposing the very things they are doing in their personal lives.

We want so desperately to be heard in our own voice, and yet try hard each day to conform to what we think others will accept and appreciate.

It’s madness and quite honestly a huge loss of remarkably creative potential.

There’s a story I was told a long time ago. I don’t think it’s original and I doubt I’ll get this right but it’s a short tale so here it goes: There’s a group of people in heaven asking God questions and having a conversation. One of the guests spots the most famous comic of all time over in the corner. He looks at God and says “there he is, the funniest person to ever live”. God looks at his guest and shakes his head, pointing over to a man who was an accountant his entire life and says “No, that’s the funniest person to have ever lived.” The guest laughs and says “I knew him, he was the most boring person I knew in my lifetime. A bean counter! Ha! Good One!” God says calmly “No, he was in fact the funniest person to have ever lived. He just never shared it with the world during his lifetime.”

So we all just kind of fit in. Our authenticity hidden behind the veneer of an upstanding professional who’s more comfortable being hidden than standing out. It’s less about authenticity and more about conformity. It’s less about being a purple cow and more about being just a better cow than the other cows without rocking the boat.

I don’t have the answer for why this is or how to break out of it. In fact I myself struggle with pure, honest expression. I’m constantly wondering what others will think, if they’ll like it or not and how to avoid stepping on toes. It takes hard work, mentally, to fight the urge to conform and actually share what makes you truly great. I work on it everyday.

So just for today, muster up twenty seconds of courage and put on that hat you love, read that poem you wrote out loud, sign up for that comedy amateur hour, speak your voice in the meeting, start that personal blog, begin your own art collection, step up and play the piano for the room, recommend an alternative to the boring ad copy.

Express yourself! Be embarrassed! It’s ok. And who knows, you may just be admired for it.

The world doesn’t need another clone running around, we need creative thinkers who push the status quo and inspire those around them to share the most remarkable thing they offer to the world – their true, authentic self.