A Funny Look at the Academy Awards, Oscar Wrap Up by Faye Moss

Taking down the Red Carpet ©Getty images Ralf Hirschberger/DPA

2018 Oscar Wrap Up	The Final Word
	Well awards season is officially over after a star studded Oscars event that left some inspired, others fired up and still more just plain tired. The 3 hour and 49 minute slog, mercifully ended with the final award, for Best Picture. Here are my final thoughts.
by Faye Moss	Dateline: Hollywood, 90th Academy Awards

My Interesting Observations:
I was wondering how far into the red carpet interviews I could get before I heard the first nominee say the word Surreal. It was only 1:20 pm before Timothy Chalamet uttered the overused cliche, when asked how it felt to be a nominee. "It's surreal" he replied. I heard no less than 4,000 more it's surreals, 1152 it hasn't sunk in yets, and 217 I'm just happy to be nominateds.

You can always count on Michael Strahan for some awkward moments. Even when he manages to hold a decent interview, like with last years Best Supporting Actor winner, Mahershala Ali. He finds a way to screw it up.

Strahan: Where do you keep your Oscar?

Mahershala Ali: On the shelf, out of the way so that I don't see it everyday. I try to look forward to the new thing. To what's next. Not always look at past success.

Strahan: Plus you have to keep it away from your daughter, right?

Mahershala Ali: (Looks confused) What?

Strahan: Okay Rushumba, back to you, baby!

Tiffany Haddish, just crashed into Daniel Kaluuya's interview. He was nominated in the Best Actor category for a brilliant performance in Get Out. What was she nominated for, best Monique impression?

Is it just me, or does Matthew McConaughey always look like he spent the weekend drinking?

Mark Hamil seemed to be having a good time. That made me happy.

Jordan Peele looked great. Congrats on making history and wearing the coolest tux I have seen in years.

Gal Gadot, Gol Gaddot, Inspector Gadget, how do you say her damn name? Anyway, she came out in a dress that looked like Wonder Woman stole some vibranium from Black Panther.

They have been mis-pronouncing names all night. Gal Gaddot, Matthew Mcconnahee, Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr.

Darkest Hour won make up, rightfully so. They made Dracula look like Winston Churchill, jowls and all. And why is it that the people who win for make up always arrive at the Oscars in bad make up?

The stage is way too busy. It looks like a meteor crashed into a theater and someone put fancy lights on it.

Kobe Bryant won an Oscar for Dear Basketball. You know other basketball players are like damn, Kobe gets everything, championships, MVP's, charges dropped. Now he gets an Oscar. Damn.

As many people on twitter observed, was that Meryl Streep or the Fairy Godmother from Shrek?

Jennifer Lawrence climbed over the seats with a drink in her hand and didn't spill a drop. But she can't walk on the stage without falling down.

Didn't see I, Tonya but love Allison Janney on Mom.

Guillermo Del Toro won Best Director and Best Picture for his soft porn bestiality movie, The Shape of Water. Who knew the Creature from the Black Lagoon could get down like that?

Every year somebody dresses down at the Oscars. I believe they think they are making a statement. I think the only statement being made is that they don't know how to dress for the Oscars. But at the same time, why can't they enjoy their moment the way they want? Why do they have to do it the way I want them to? Because my way is better.

Finally, as far as worst dressed. When Selma Hayek has a dress that looks better than yours, you know you made a bad choice.

Love From Hollywood, Faye Moss