Dark Times - Something I wrote long ago # 2

Because in my dark times, you were my light. But now you give me nothing but darkness.

I remember when I could spend hours watching you and trying to describe your look. There is no worse failure than losing interest in the eyes of a person, and worse, I lost interest in your eyes and in you. You ruined it.

You said you had everything with me, but was that true? I was just thinking about you, I had nothing else in my head than your name.

Despite begging you to stay, you did not, why did I think you could stay? I could not tie you to something you no longer wanted.

My thoughts are only full of questions. I keep blaming myself for everything, even knowing that its your fault, or is it mine?

In my dark times I promised to hate you, but I see you and my legs fail. Drinking has not helped, and smoking even less. I can not forgive you, there is nothing more cruel than to take away the hope of love, of finding something better, and you took it from me. I know that hope will return, that I will be better. You are really important to me?

In my dark days I spent days thinking about how to disappear. And the dark times came back.