Developing emotional intelligence

The first step to developing emotional intelligence is to understand your emotions and to understand the mind of your recipient. Ask yourself questions such as "how does this situation make me feel?" or "how does this person make me feel?" Pay attention to how you answer these questions and be careful not to generalize or apply your own feelings to others. If you can, show them a behavior that confirms they are correct in their perceptions.

Emotional intelligence can be developed through self-awareness. When we observe ourselves, we begin to realize our own emotional capacities. This is the first key skill to building strong interpersonal relationships. Self-awareness helps us make logical sense of our own emotional responses and enables us to learn how to change those responses to better ones. Through this lens we are able to see patterns emerging in our relationships, and we are also better able to anticipate future emotional challenges.

How do you know if you are developing emotional intelligence? One way is to pay attention to how you react to situations in which you may have strong emotions. Does your body language change when you are faced with conflict or having to talk to someone who makes you feel uncomfortable? Do you find it difficult to remain calm when people are upset with you? Are you more socially aware than most people? These are questions that you can ask yourself to get a good idea of how good your social awareness is and what you need to develop to improve.