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RE: Pavlov, Roller Skates, and Why We Don't Punish Our Kids - Unschooling
If you don't punish them, what do you do when they steal or hit someone?
If you don't punish them, what do you do when they steal or hit someone?
The natural consequences that occur when your child steals or hits are often enough to get them to understand why what they did was unhelpful in getting along peacefully with other people. Punishment is about inflicting pain or fear for the sake of control-over. It's might-makes-right. Not necessary.
If parents first at all would also start to recognize the property of their children, then the children would maybe also have it easier to accept that stuff from others their property. Instead of this I observe constantly how children receive or possess something and parents command their children to share it with other children like they are communists (and probably the most are without recognizing it).
But on the same time the same parents expect that their children respect their property and property of others. Also you can observe from the very same parents how they take away somebody else property without a shame because, it is nothing, anyway they deserve it more, they need it more etc. And funnily the very same "high moral" parents are not amused if somebody would tell them to share their things like cars, cell phones, watches, pen's, clothes....
How would it be in first place to be a good example? Punishment leads to nothing else than fear, while unconditionally love leads to empathy and moral. Sometimes I get wet eyes when I observe my daughter mastering so much situation so much better then me - and opening my eyes.
When you come to a point where you recognize self-ownership, and the non aggression principle as the only moral and right decision (not even speaking of empathy), you will find out that punishing in first place is wrong because of both.
While I'm with so much rage and hatred, letting me feel like I want to start a general genocide on human race because of the mostly disgusting behavior of all this "moral" people walking over this planet. My daughter also have difficulties with all this aggression, mainly from stronger human beings to weaker beings (like also their children). But she is in first place empathetic, while I get very aggressive against the aggressor. I was punished in childhood, she never. And in 4 years I have seen when she hit somebody, than she is absolute right on it. Because it is also the right of the children to defend them self - even against there parents.
Some day I will write about some experiences.
So my question is for you, if you don't love your child unconditionally, how do you make a better future for your children?