I've never bought the socialization argument as a reason not to unschool. It's hogwash. Unschooled children often spend lots of time out in the world with other kids and adults. The ones who are isolated are in that situation because of other choices of the parents. It is by no means a requirement of unschooling or homeschooling, nor is it even common.

Mostly, though, I don't buy it because nearly all schools do a terrible job of socializing. Children are forced to be quiet and still and do as they're told for a large majority of the day, and then they are completely ignored by adults for the small portion of free time they have. Recess and physical education have been cut significantly shorter in places where they even exist at all. Even lunch is frequently as short as 20 minutes which is totally unhealthy on top of everything else.

Shockingly, kids tend to cause problems during these brief gasps of freedom, and when something like bullying happens it is frequently ignored or minimized by adults. This is not socialization. It is the creation of the toxic culture we currently live in. Does it really shock anyone that some kids are assholes? They aren't born that way, y'all. If kids are being shitty, that's on us, not them. We've done a shit job of parenting education for starters. Anyway, that's another post I guess. My major point is these kids aren't getting any kind of education or practice in how to communicate, truly listen, and live in community with others. This is a problem.

Now, while unschooled kids do get social opportunities, they aren't really getting kid community immersion. It's really just the nature of the beast. Let me explain what I mean by kid community. I'm talking about kids being around other kids with little to no adult interference. I'm talking about kids playing with each other in an unstructured way. I'm talking about how we used to play kickball and army in the neighborhood. I'm talking about playing barbies with my friends in the bedroom with no adults around. I'm talking about children learning how to negotiate, communicate, and figure things out on their own without someone hovering. I'm talking about kids looking out for each other and developing deep bonds.

So, unless you are unschooling in a community with a lot of other unschoolers in a setting where kids can roam about together, it is highly unlikely you are able to provide this for your kids. I've really only seen it in one place, and that is at Sudbury schools. Honestly, I miss it almost every day. As much as I love unschooling and as close as it is in many ways, this is the one piece I just can't recreate. I attempt not to intervene when they argue or negotiate, but there is no way to avoid hearing it in this tiny house, and it's mostly just the two of them. It really is not enough variety.

In fact, it's not just kids! They need more adults in their life too. They need more exposure to different types of people, different interests, and different ideas. Yet every time I think of starting another school, I feel tired just to think of it.

Anyone wanna move here to Belize and start up an anarchist community and unschool kids together?

Much love, y’all!

As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.

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