Not Feeling Okay, But that's Okay..
Something I wrote yesterday on account of World Mental Health Day and just because I felt saying that...
Since forever, I have seen people reply with 'I am fine' or 'Okay' or 'Good' when asked 'How are you?' so I did the same because I picked it up as I grew.
It was only a few months back during the advent of an emotional trauma that I felt my heart ache and soul cry (honestly not exaggerating) when I said 'I am okay' to someone who asked me how I felt. I did not feel okay and I don't know why but I didn't feel like saying that I was okay when clearly I wasn't.
So I decided to spice things up a bit and speak the truth. The next time a friend asked me, 'Hey Sharoon how are you feeling?', I just answered, 'Not too good but Alhamdulilah and it will be alright in some time.' I don't know why but I clearly remember feeling a little better by just saying that. Then onward, this was the answer I gave to a lot of my understanding friends. (Not everyone because some people are nosy and just keep following you with their pesky nose everywhere even on Facebook) That said, there is a difference between being nosy and concerned, and you can easily spot that so all my loving friends who showed concern, you have been my strength. Love you all!
I then dug deeper into my answer and figured out that I felt better because I was being honest about my feelings. Often, we feel pained when we say we are okay while we are crushed, shattered and bruised from within because we are aching and it doesn't feel right. Just because we fear to be judged, criticized or misunderstood, we keep things locked inside us and the pain only grows. It is only when we open up about our feelings, even by just uttering a word, we let the pain out. We need to open a window to let the air come in and it only through opening this window inside of our heart that we let healing pour in.
I am not saying we all need to go tell everyone how we feel or give speeches or write essays about our feelings. I mean if that helps you, by all means do it. Your life, your feelings and your laptop so do whatever makes you happy. My point here is to open up about your feelings at least. No need to tell anyone why you are sad, but at least accept that you aren't feeling stable. No need to disclose your emotions to everyone, but open up to just one person you put some weight off your heart.
One reason among many why we keep grieving and aching is because we do not admit and acknowledge our pain. Your pain is as important as your happiness. It is a part of you. Own up to it and accept it. Once you do that, you'll want to stay in that feeling for a while. As you do that, slowly tend to it appropriately by adopting strategies that help you heal better.
On this Mental Health Day, I felt it was very important to reiterate the fact that YOUR MENTAL HEALTH REALLY MATTERS. Take care of your mental well-being and make it your priority. Trust me, things will soon fall into place.
Love and light,
Sharoon.
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Growing up, it was about keeping it in
You do not wash dirty laundry in public
I like your answer very much <3
Oh wow.. you do not wash dirty laundry in public.. that's how people make us feel when we are abt to tell them the truth.. aah t hurts.. love your input. Thanks.
You are so right, and I really like what you say about that there's a difference between being concerned and nosy!
Thank you so much. Much appreciated!
Great insight on yourself. And great post, thank you for sharing. I always want to know "why, why, why" and so I am trying to press through the "I'm not OK" admission to figure out exactly why. But you're right, that's gotta be the first step.
Yeah for me and for a lot of people, self-acceptance and acceptance of your emotions is the first step towards healing and understanding yourself. Great input. Thanks a lot!
I haven't tried being on the side that was asked (because I can hide things too well) but recently I asked a friend if he was okay. For a normally cheery person, he was being pretty grave, so I asked him. Surprisingly he said no, then we talked about it a little bit. He became much lighter after that (in demeanor).
Hiding too much of your emotions can lead to a pile up inside, and one day, it can lead to sudden overflow of it, which can be painful (or downright deadly).
Thanks for the reminders!(°◡°♡).:｡
I am so glad you asked your friend and that he responded with honesty and the two of you had a nice chat that led to him feeling better <3
I hide my emotions pretty well too so nobody really knew I was aching. The 'how are you' I'm talking about is the routine question we are asked and even to that, I feel like saying 'I am meh' when I am feeling meh haha. Thank you for stopping by. Means so much.
Love this technique, and totally agree that it is good when we can be honest about our feelings. Otherwise, we live more in a self-imposed isolation. Thank you for sharing this positive message with #steemitbloggers 💚
I grew up too being told to keep up the happy face. And I certainly don't believe in that anymore. I truly hope that you are feeling better now and can say with conviction that you are fine.
Hello Sharoon, it is so good to see you writing again. Hang in there, life is full of ups and downs and people pay good money to ride roller coasters for some reason, go figure that one out?
Peace be with you,
@sultnpapper
#steemitbloggers
You are the best!
I totally understand this. I don't really speak well when it comes to my feelings and struggles, but writing it out always helps me.
Same. Writing is my knight in shining armor.
That is the perfect way to put it!
Often the easiest answer will be "I am okay" or "I am fine". Like you said, when we are honest about how we felt, we actually felt better after that. Guilty at charge, I used to be the type "I am okay" because I didn't want people to be too concerned for me. But I have learned it is okay to say "not too good, but God will make it better".
So I guess we have found our ways to answer in an honest manner. Love to you ❤️
Aww I wanna hug you right now. Missed you.
Hold on and things change. Everything changes. I read your post a while back and agree.
