'Mum,' my boy says to me 'I don't think you'll ever grow up'. Nope, not likely. Do you know there's a word for this? It's neotony. It's really the extension of juvenile qualities into adulthood, physiologically. It's not a physiological retention of youth that's important in this interpretation of the word, but more that youthful joy where, as Wordsworth suggests, the child is kept within the adult.

The Child is the Father of Man: Wordsworth

My Heart Leaps Up When I Behold
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

Neotony has been etymologically attributed to this poem, and I like this interpretation of it - not a physical feature, but an ability to find that childlike joy in things, that passion for what you do. And it helps us be adaptable, because we're the most neotonic of all the creatures and thus able to adapt to our surroundings through curious play.

Curiosity in play helps us problem solve. There is a link, for example, between playing with your hands early in life and problem solving – rolling snowballs, drawing, juggling, bouncing balls. Better problem solvers, therefore, were better players. It's born from curiosity and exploration. For example, kids and animals both learn a lot from rough and tumble play - it helps us emotionally regulate and learn cognitive, emotional and physical skills. Consider being in a new environment or situation and how you creatively explore it to solve the problems of being in this new situation. What if I do it this way? What if I approach it with this strategy?

Play makes kids - and us - more flexible, smarter, and creative - Image Source

Whilst reading a bit about play, I discovered an experiment that I found desperately sad, and not just because it was done on mice, but because of all those kids who have never had a chance to play because of abuse or taking on responsibilities too early in their life that stopped them playing. Stuart Brown in his TED talk explains:

If you take rats, who are hardwired to play at a certain period of their juvenile years and you suppress play -- they squeak, they wrestle, they pin each other, that's part of their play. If you stop that behavior on one group that you're experimenting with, and you allow it in another group that you're experimenting with, and then you present those rats with a cat odor-saturated collar, they're hardwired to flee and hide. Pretty smart -- they don't want to get killed by a cat. So what happens? They both hide out. The non-players never come out -- they die. The players slowly explore the environment, and begin again to test things out. That says to me, at least in rats -- and I think they have the same neurotransmitters that we do and a similar cortical architecture -- that play may be pretty important for our survival.

Play as a survival mechanism really piqued my interest. It's not just frivolity - it helps us negotiate and map our worlds, and helps us out when we're in trouble. In our lives, we will suffer lots of cat odour types of problems - rejection, relationship break-ups, problems at work and so on - but if we've had experience with play, this experiment suggests we're much more likely to be able to emerge from our dark holes. The opposite of play, Brown reminds us, is not work, it's depression. The implications of this for mental health are really mind boggling, because as adults, we often have forgotten how to play - what does this do to our brains?

Play can be dancing, ceremony, song and dance - how much do we enjoy gatherings where we get a chance to play? And how might these experiences increase feelings of joy and help us learn about the world, each other, and our selves?

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Play, therefore, allows for neuro-plasticity. As we find new ways to 'wire and fire' our neurons together through play, we find new ways to approach problems and to learn new ways that help us thrive. Games and puzzles - essentially play - have been used by science to prove that the brain is not fixed from youth as they thought - it can relearn. There has been incredible therapies undertaken on people with severe brain injuries that show this to be the case, and some of these cases have been so severe that ordinary functions such as memory have been supposedly lost. This is such a wonderful advancement in the way that we think about the brain, and something I use in education all the time - the more we 'play' with ideas and ways of doing things, the more likely we are to learn and retain the information we're given. We get rid of 'I can't' and adopt a 'growth mindset', knowing we can re-map our brains even if we've been told we're not very good at something (although I'm sure I'll never learn how to juggle)

Whilst my boy might have that affectionate criticism of his crazy Mum when he says I'm not ever going to grow up, I try to advise him that play is important for life. We're hardwired to play through our entire lifetimes - to create, to watch movies, to dance, to go to festivals, play sport. We need things to look forward to - a trip overseas, a project in the garden or the shed (hence J. playing with Landrovers, a passion play for him that stems from play with machines as as child where he was lost in a state of flow that brought him joy), a problem to be solved. Play takes on all kinds of forms, but it's the benefits rather than what it looks like that is so important.

Play, therefore, not only helps us adapt and be flexible, it can:

• help us relieve stress
• help us connect to others
• help us re-wire our brains to learn new things
• help us enrich our lives by providing balance and interest to otherwise stressful or boring adult routines
• help us bond to others (humour, for example, is a form of play we find attractive in the opposite sex)

Brown showed this in his TED Talk. The polar bear isn't eating the dog - he is PLAYING WITH IT. How cool is that? The animals are learning entirely new ways of socialising and behaving that wouldn't have been achieved if they hadn't been in a state of exploratory play.

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Play can determine our careers and how we live our lives. Think of the times when you felt that joy from play when you were a kid. How does that seep still into your adult life? Or, perhaps, if you're unhappy at a job - what's the job you really want to do, that brings you that joy? Mine would be writing (no suprise there) or creating something, a garden or a website or a mosaic mural - those things are creative, imaginative play for me and bring joy into my life. I wrote as a kid and was very creative - this is coming back to me now as I realise the value of this kind of play in my life.

I believe forms of 'play' make my relationship with J. infinitely more successful. We love solving problems through doing projects together - without a project, we get a bit bored. We love to explore the world, discover new things, figure out stuff. Humour and playfulness together is often the glue that binds us and I find it remarkable that after 15 years we still love each others company and can make each other laugh, or drop everything and put on vinyl and dance around the loungeroom like we did when we were younger.

I find a lot of joyful play in surfing and yoga - they enable me to get into a flow state, and help me explore my boundaries and capabilities that I can then bring off the mat into more creative and resilient approaches to my life.

Play is one of the reasons that I cut back my work hours, indirectly. I was so depressed and stressed that I had no time to do the things that brought me joy - surfing, yoga, gardening, writing, creating. My brain wasn't handling that very well at all!

Since I've created more space in my life for play, I've had a great deal more joy in my life too, and I intend to keep it that way. Nope, I'm not going to 'grow up', son, I'm gonna fight to keep that childlike joy and sense of play in my life, even if it's just to bug you.

What 'play' brings you joy?

Does 'play' make you more flexible and adaptable?

Is play just for kids, or should we make sure we keep 'playing' as adults?

This piece was a response to the @ecotrain question of the week, which asked about the importance of play and how play comes into our lives. Anyone on the blockchain can explore this question - just use the tag #ecotrain so we can find each other's responses. You'll find some other great stuff under this tag too - go check it out! And thanks @eco-alex for posing these brain stretching questions!

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