Great ideas, few grammatical errors, but really like the ideas and concept, one slight criticism from another person aspiring to write, maybe its me but it sounds quite flat, maybe its lacking emotion or description not sure which. Though dont let me dissuade you or put you off, as it really is quite good and I am sure if you keep going and growing, getting into your style you will produce some great stuff (I am just a bit picky having consumed mass amounts of sci fi)