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RE: The Honest Truth: My Unconventional Relationship
Well done for putting this out there. It sounds like you're hurting. As for the growing, sure, I think we grow in every situation of pain and self exploration, it's just not always immediately apparent.
This is a topic I've been considering myself. My head tells me that the idea of marriage and life-long love is ridiculous, particularly when it comes to sex. Why can't you love someone and have sex with someone else where there's no love involved? But my heart tells me something else and that's what I try to follow. My head has led me down all sorts of paths that weren't right for my heart.
I don't think I could do what you're doing, even though my head might just be trying to trick me into trying!
@camuel thank you for this very honest and supportive comment.
The fact is, you can. But based on where you live (culture), your societal conditioning may tell you different.
Yes I agree - the head has different interests than the heart. This is always a challenge and it's also why communication is a MUST, especially when you are experiencing relations with the opposite sex (as our heads are wired a bit differently!)
Ultimately, my heart led me here...and my heart has had to endure a lot of pain because of it. Pain is not a bad thing though. In my opinion, it's the path to true love.
Often, true love as seen in the movies is attachment. But attachment assumes conditions. If you truly love something, that love must be unconditional. For me, poly has taught me (and is teaching me) how to love unconditionally.
And that lesson (of loving unconditionally) is one of the most difficult lessons I've ever chosen to explore.
Gosh, when you put it like that then yes, it's the path the true happiness. Unconditional love is kind of Utopian though, wouldn't you say? I mean in terms of romantic relationships. Your exploration could be the path to unconditional love of oneself, and that could be true enlightenment.
You mentioned communication - Yes, Yes, Yes! That's where I fall down in my relationship and it's becoming more and more apparent to me. Now that you've got me thinking about it, it does seem like your path is the right path for you. It's so fascinating and I thank you for putting this out there.
Well unconditional love can be tough because sometimes it means accepting a reality that you weren't expecting. Like for instance, maybe a relationship is no longer romantic - unconditional love can still exists between two people regardless if the romance still exists. Whereas with conditional love, if romance is the condition, then love will not exist after the romance dissolves. So yeah it's kind of a utopian idea but the reality of it is not necessarily always this utopia if that makes sense.
It definitely feels like an exploration of self-love! I've definitely been learning a lot from it :)
Cheers @camuel!