No problem. A friend of mine from London encouraged me to join steemit. I am so glad he did. I was still extremely depressed due to my dear friend I came here to Hawaii to help passed away 2 years ago. I was still healing from my son's death when I came here. My friend from London owns a cabin here and comes for a few months twice a year. When he came last time, he told me I didn't look very happy. He got me out of the house and took me on many adventures. Woke me up! Doing steemit has reminded me of all the things I have loved to do since I was a kid. .. exploring nature and photographing it for preservation of the fun and memories, writing and creating in general. Plus it keeps from going into another deep depression. I just recently got back to doing Reiki as I had my own healing to take care of. I also started meditating and doing my yoga again. I eat mostly organic freshly grown foods and do my green smoothies with spirilina, chorella, hemp powder, power greens and fresh fruits and berries with a bit of fresh local organic honey. I feel and look better than I have in many years. I am 67 going on 68 and feel 16 most of the time. lol I don't do a lot of personal posts here as most people don't bother to read them anyway. I don't care about the money. I am here to see if I can help others in whatever way I can. Mostly through personal posts like this. Just know you have a friend now that understands. You can and will get through this. Just let go and do the things that bring you the most joy! The funds will automatically come if you love what you are doing. Have you heard of Zion's River on 72nd Street in Tacoma? They are none denominational and my daughter goes there. They have helped her through some really tough times. I am normally not a church goer, but I have been there many times and truly love it and the pastor. The whole church is one big community that help each other. Keep those videos coming as people seem to adore you! You've got this!! BTW, I am an ex juvy officer from Rehmann Hall and an ex Job corp Advisor at tongue Point in Astoria. I love working with young adults your age, so if you ever need help, or just need someone to chat with...I'm here!! Hey, if you ever need a change and decide to travel, come to The big Island. I have several friends with farms that utilize woofers http://wwoofinternational.org You live and work on the farm and most will feed you and some will even pay you after about 20 hours of work. You just have to get your way to wherever you decide to work. Sound like something you would enjoy doing? It would cost you from $250 to $300 to fly to Kona. Lots of young people here and a lot end up getting fulltime jobs and staying because they love it so much. Check out the website and let me know how just thinking about it makes you feel?? Much Aloha sent your way!!