25 Years Journey

First of all, this is my first post on Steemit. I have heard good things about the web.
What attracts me is not really the money, but the push on posting an original content.
I have always wanted to tell my stories. But other social media is full of friends and acquaintance. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be true to what I really feel.

So, here we go. Hi Steem Friends !
I am a 25 years old female, who feels so alone in her journey to success. I know that many of you struggles the same thing, but somehow we enjoy the thought of being miserable alone. It is somehow really hard to share the true feelings to others.

I was born in Borneo Island, far from where my parents originally from. This alone has made my whole life complicated in a way.
People often ask "where you from ?" and all the race thing make it so hard to answer that question.
where you are born is related to your race from where I come from. to say where my parents are from, is a weird. because I have no idea about the place nor the culture.

I grew up in many places. we keep moving from one place to another.
Changing school is almost a yearly events until I reach the 8th grade. I have no sense of attachment because I've always been far from my parents due to their business importance. and changing the school every year on such early age has thought me that people come and go in your life. We can say that I learn reality before I hit puberty.

After high school, I moved to Australia to study. I wanted to learn something about making movie. But my parents will only fund me if I studied something they understood - like Business.. of course.
After two years, I finally grew some balls to tell them what I want. So I finally made my way to learn about Media.
Well, at the time I didn't know that Media Studies is not the right place to learn on how to make a movie.
But a lot of time and money has lost, so I go on with whatever it is was presented by the curriculum.
Two years more past, and I am officially realized that I am Lost.

I came back home, trying to tell my parents what a failure the past 3-4 years was.. but I lost my balls again. :)

Fortunately, my high school sweetheart. my first love, my boyfriend who moved to Australia to be with me finally cheated on me, with my Best friend.. on New Year Eve :) they slept in my room..
And that is my ticket to go and never come back to whatever it was that I thought I had in Australia.

Feeling terribly betrayed by the closets people in my life and having zero accomplishment, I turn to Google.
I asked " What is the best place to live" it says, Canada.
So with heavy heart I told my mother that I want to go to Canada.
She did not understand what is going on, but she wasn't on board. But she can tell that I am broken.
she said " if you can get an offer letter, and a visa, you can go.."

Four months later, I step foot the the country I have never been before, knows nothing about, and has no clue on what I'm gonna do. I was enroll in a university, has no where to live, and no friends, and no one to guide me. all I have is two bag of baggage, money, and laptop. what did I do? I go online to figure out whatever it is I need to have.

Fast forward to four years later, I have so many friends, three jobs, nice apartments, another love of my life, and everything was great, until its not. My intent was to apply for Canadian Residency. Paid lawyers to get the papers, work all day and all night to pay the bills, but it didn't work out. I have lost support from my parents. They have disowned me because I was in love with a muslim man. and it is an embarrassment for them.

Being a liberalist, and a socialist after four years living in Canada, I can not stand with such judgement. It is unacceptable, and I am ashamed with their mindset. Everything went downhill ever since between me and my parents.
My unfortunate events didn't end there. My plan of being a Canadian citizen has turn into dust. My mission had failed. My permit to work is finished at the end of 2015. I have exhausted all my resources during that period. and at the end of January 2016 I knew that it's over. I came back home.

When I came back, nothing was the same. I was not the same. I changed.
Seven years of living abroad, away from family, friends come and go, so many things had happen. I can never be the same.
Three months of being home, this grown up me is being more and more rejected by my family. But luck was on my side at the time. I was hired to work as a general manager in paradise. Bali.
I was working on a beach club. I drink like a pirates, party almost everyday, and chilling on the beach is the main duty. Wonderful.
!
But, the childhood dream was still alive. The paradise live has remind me of what it is I wanted to do.
I still want to make a movie.