A State Of Shock
You know those moments where time slows down? When it seems like it has stopped? I had one of those moments today…
The story begins with the urge to get outside, enjoy the weather, and soak up some energy from the sun. I was doing all I could to build up some good energy for a podcast I was supposed to do. I didn’t know where I wanted to go for a walk. I just knew that I wanted to be outside and enjoy nature.
I climbed into the car without a destination in mind. I was going to let my mind wander to a destination. I quickly came to the conclusion that I should go to my families house and take their dog for a walk. I wanted to feel the positive energy and unconventional love that dogs radiate so much of.
I was feeling good and was ready to enjoy the weather with Puck, the family German Shepherd. I unlocked the door, grabbed a leash, and made my way to Puck. He was so excited to see me!
He’s still a puppy and unleashed all of his energy by jumping all over me. I did what I could to calm him down quickly, but he was still bouncing with energy. I put him on his leash and he quickly went to the car thinking that a trip to the dog park was in his future. I walked past the car and urged him on with a quick “to me”. When he realized we were going for a walk, he started to jump up and down all over again. I had him sit and rubbed him down to, attempting to calm him. He settled down and off we went.
My mother’s house is on the top of a hill. I’m very careful about traffic because the traffic isn’t always so careful. We walked down the hill on the left side of the road so approaching cars could see us. A car approached as we made our way down the hill. As the car got closer, Puck jumped up with excitement again. I waved as the car crept by us slowly and the driver waved back. We made it down the hill but remained on the left side as another vehicle was approaching.
This van really excited Puck. He began to jump and ran to the right side of me. He leaped up as the van approached and right out of his collar. I saw it all happen in slow motion. He began to run towards the van. The van was so close and I hoped with all of my heart that Puck would run back to me before a nightmare unfolded before my eyes.
Time almost seemed to stop. I saw the van collide with Puck as Puck was beginning to turn his body in an effort to avoid the collision. The van came to a stop as the driver slammed on the brakes. I stood in horror as Puck went sprawling across the pavement.
I don’t know if it seemed like time stopped because my heart had. All I know was that I was in shock.
I expected Puck to lie there motionless. Luckily, the driver of the work van was paying attention and had reacted quickly.
Puck leaped up and immediately started to bound back up the hill and to the front door of my mothers
I’m so grateful another vehicle didn’t come from the other direction as he was making his way up the road.
I was in shock and didn’t know what to do. I ran to the driver and told him I’d be right back and ran after Puck to check on him. He was sitting patiently waiting for me to come to the door of the house. I looked him over and didn’t see any blood or signs of damage, but I was still terrified that he was not in the clear.
The thoughts of being responsible for something terrible happening to my brother and mother’s dog was still pulsing through my veins.
They both love Puck. It seems my brother loves him more than anything else in this world. I didn’t know what to do, but I felt like I couldn’t do anything until Puck was deemed ok. I didn’t know how to speak with my brother or if he would even be able to answer my call. I called my mother and tried to tell her calmly to brace herself for some news. I began to explain what had happened and that I wanted to take Puck to the vet to make sure he was alright. The thought of internal bleeding or damage still shook me at the core.
My mother agreed with me that we should take him in.
As she called, the driver of the van pulled into the driveway. I rushed over to speak with him. He was very kind and caring. We chatted and exchanged information. I feel sure that he needed to fill out an incident report. He mentioned seeing Puck come out of the collar and recalled hitting the brakes as soon as it registered. He estimated that he hit Puck going 15 miles per hour. I thanked him graciously for paying attention. I didn’t know what to say. I was still in a state of shock and worry about what was still on the horizon.
I ran inside to search for Puck. He was curled up in my brother’s bed. This worried me because I’ve had another one of our dogs pass after curling down into a comfortable spot.
The phone rang. It was my mother. She said what I wanted to hear, that the vet said we should bring him in to be examined. I called for Puck to come to me and my spirit was raised as he jumped out of the bed and followed my instruction.
We made it to the stairs and I called for him to come to me as I went upstairs. He froze at the bottom and would not go up. I was filled with more concern that we were not out of the clear yet.
After quite a lot of encouragement, he made his way up the stairs. I put his collar back on with the leash and we climbed into the car.
The clinic was twenty minutes away. For that twenty minutes, I petted him and tried to monitor how he was doing. He stunk which also caused some fear to rise inside of me. I wanted to rush to the veterinarian as quickly as possible but refrained from speeding, too much. I opted to go the speed of traffic even though I so dearly wanted to get him there as quickly as possible. This is when I began to regain control of my emotions again.
I began to incorporate the mindset I’ve been practicing from the Stoic tradition. I kept reminding myself that things were out of my control at the moment. All I could do was try to channel good energy in myself and send it to Puck. There was a battle in my head as the emotions arose from the negative thoughts about something I was imagining, the thought of losing Puck, and being the person that could be perceived as having lost my families dog.
I kept telling myself I had to live in the moment, for I cannot control anything else. I just pet Puck as he shook next to me. I disregarded my fears and kept petting him while saying reassuring things to him (maybe it was for myself).
We arrived at the vet and I was relieved to have Puck crawl over my lap and show a different kind of energy than when he was shaking next to me.
We made it to the vet’s office. We were welcomed by faces that were familiar to him. Everyone radiated lots of good energy as they spoke in a friendly tone to Puck. We were quickly brought to an examination room where I recounted what had happened while the veterinary assistant took his vitals.
It didn’t take long before the veterinarian made his way into the office. He greeted us with a warm smile and began a thorough examination of Puck. Puck was pretty nervous as he sat on the raised examining table. It appeared that he wanted to get off of it so dearly! With every moment, my mind began to ease. Dr. Mike’s words kept confirming that Puck seemed to be fine other than some bruising. He did claim that Puck had evacuated his bladder and bowels from the shock of being hit. This is fairly normal I was told.
I was so relieved!
During the examination, my mother spoke to my brother on the phone. He was dying to know how Puck was and wanted to see a photo.
I was just as happy as Puck looks in the photo to hear that he made it out with just a few bruises.
Dr. Mike recommended that we monitor Puck for 24 hours. The pressing concern was to confirm that his bladder had not ruptured and that there was no blood in the urine.
Finally feeling the weight lift off of me, I filled in my brother and mother before making the trip back home.
The first thing Puck wanted to do was go in the backyard and play. It filled my heart with joy to see him acting like his normal puppy self.
Instead of playing, I sat with him and scratched his belly, expressing my gratitude that nothing terrible had happened. I recounted the visual of him being hit in my head and it brought tears to my eyes that he was alright laying next to me and kicking his hind legs in satisfaction as I scratched his belly.
After some relaxation and belly scratches, I got up to see if he wanted to go outside. He made his way out and immediately peed with no blood visible. Hooray!
As with most things in life, I did not expect to have to go through this when I set out to go for a walk. Life throws all sort things into our plans. Such is the nature of life.
I’m so happy that the things I imagined in my head did not manifest.
I am filled with joy that Puck showed he is a tough little pup and is doing great.
