The Assertive Mind - Joy from control

The next chapter in my #betterDog series

Head up, ego in check, goal in mind. You are in charge. Ok, let’s go.

No, this is not preparing for going to ask for a raise or anything silly like that. This is important. This is the state of mind you need to be in when you do anything with your dog.

You see, dogs don’t care about the future, or the past for that matter. In order to be in control you need to be in control of the right now. Your frame of mind is more important to how your dog behaves more than anything else.

If we want to control our dogs we must first control ourselves.

The Dog’s mind

Dogs are the great mirrors of our homes. They seem to know what you are thinking even without you outwardly expressing it. This does not mean they care, they just know. Your family dog will never take `I’m fine’ for an answer.

Let’s give an example. You are distracted, your mind is elsewhere but you are out walking your dog because you are a good owner and your dog needs walking. Your brain is going a mile a minute with bills, kids, work. Your dog's brain is going a mile a minute with now I see a tree, now I hear a car, now I smell a cat. See how the two minds are not in sync. Suddenly you find your dog somehow breaking your thought process. Often this manifests in the dog trying to pull your arm out of its socket or scaring you by barking at something. Your instant reaction is to pull the dog back or yell at it...Bad Owner.

Why did this happen?

This is a classic example of you and your dog not being in the right order. Your dog is submissive to you, until you let that change. You are responsible for your dog’s state of mind. You should be thanking your dog, for reminding you that your mind has left the field of play for a moment.

How it should be.

Ideally you will move with your dog so the two (or ten) of you are one but you in charge. This is simple to do but that does not mean it is easy. You will know the feeling though, you and your dog will have been walking along and you find yourself seeing and feeling what the dog does. There is a certain type of joy that comes from moving around with your dog when you are moving as a pack. It rivals extra senses purely by the realisation that there is more to the world that you can take in alone. You may find yourself smiling, this is okay, go with it.

How do we become one?

Practice and hard work is a good start. If you are not walking an hour a day with your dog, bad owner. If you are doing the right thing by your family (your dog is part of your family) then the idea is to commit to leading your dog but be aware of your current situation. This does not mean sniffing trees or relieving yourself on parked cars, just to be clear. What it means is focus on the now, understand that noises and smells are important and the biggest thing is that you are in charge. If you know that you are in charge the dog will know it too.

The assertive mind.

The assertive mind state is something that takes years to get right, I still find myself slipping out of it all the time. You will find the future and past very distracting, the idea is to refocus back on the now and enjoying walking with your dog. Simple not easy. Interestingly, once you become able to do this with your dog, you will find you can do it with other dogs too. There have been many a time where peoples dogs have been out of control with them but I can get the dog to walk, sit and stay, even without the dog being officially trained.
There is no harm that can come from fostering an assertive mind in all facets of your life, but let’s work on you and your dog first shall we.

Closing thoughts.

You being able to move with your dog in a calm state occurs when you have the assertive mind state. You are in control, act like it! Your dog will always look to you for the lead, if you are not in control there will be a subtle (or not so subtle) hint. Look for these and practice, put the work in for the reward. Do not panic if one day you are walking along, everything feels better and you and your dog are acting as one, this is how it is supposed to be, just enjoy it.

You may find yourself enjoying the day that is in front of you with your dog, such as this.