40 Days in Darkness - Inner Light Retreat, Endo-huasca
I stepped into the cloudy night sky on Easter Sunday, April 1st 2018. After spending 40 days completely removed from any external source of light. Rather than calling it a Dark Retreat, I think it is more appropriate to call it an Inner Light Retreat. For it is not long before the entire space is illuminated with an amazing and vast array of light, color, and imagery. Whether this light emanates from subtle cosmic rays or the radiance of ones own inner being is unclear. What is clear however is the inner state of clarity, emptiness, joy, unconditional love and gratitude that soon envelopes ones entire being and field of awareness.
It is without a doubt one of the most profoundly humbling and purifying experiences I have ever witnessed.
There are two aspects of this retreat. One is the outer visual experience, while the other is the inner spiritual journey.
The outer waking, non-dreaming experience is filled with an escalating sense of awe, as one is slowly transported from complete darkness into waves of brilliant color, entering into other dimensions of perception. I traveled through ancient temples filled with statues of Buddha’s and other spiritual deities, ancient symbols and hieroglyphs, I meditated for very long periods in what appeared to be deep underground caves and taverns, so clear was my vision of this that I could literally see the veins of the rocks all around me.
Eventually I found myself blasting through the cosmos with stars, asteroids, planets, distant galactic clusters and all sorts of extra-terrestrial like phenomena zooming past me constantly. This lasted for weeks without end. Rivers of bright and clear ultra-violet, infra-red, metallic green, blue, purple, pink and golden light flowed underneath me, through me and all around me constantly. Masses of spiritual beings were constantly moving around me in all directions, up and down giant spiraling staircases into the stars above me. This was all experienced as a constant emanation from my conscious waking vision whether my eyes were open or closed.
My dreams were profoundly vivid every night, and eventually became effortlessly lucid. I could travel anywhere I wished, flying and teleporting through the Dreamworld.
The Inner experience was a constant process of spiritual-energetic detoxification, purging energy while always returning to a natural state of emptiness and joy.
The subconscious mind becomes completely clear to the awareness. Any and all toxic thought-forms, memories, emotional traumas, fears, desires, attitudes, patterns of behavior, complexes, etc, become fully illuminated and energetically embodied as they are released and cleansed from the psyche. Leaving a feeling of profound clarity and a state of divine love. Ones highest spiritual intelligence emerges in clear thought, accompanied by streams of intuitive realizations, insights and visions.
My body experienced a deep and profound rest and detox, completely regenerating, energizing, and renewing all of my organs and deep cellular tissue. All sorts of aches and pains melted away, being replaced by a very pleasant euphoria throughout the body.
It is an infinitely joyful feeling re-entering the outside world. I feel reborn. In love and gratitude.
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