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RE: Ransom demand for The Donald!
Finally, our human plan to infiltrate the Alien mothership with the human that is the most deceptive, most cunning, most ruthless, and biggest asshole, is paying off. I can see it now. Donald has escaped on the ship and is running around looking for the biggest button. His mission, upload the computer virus, change the targetting coordinates back onto the ship, set the count down to 10 min, push that big button, find an escape pod, and jetison back to Earth, crash landing in the pacific. We have our U.S.S. Ronald Reagan standing by.
"We will not go quietly into the night!
We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to live on!
We're going to survive!"
lol. :)
We have traveled a thousand light years to hold your leader hostage only to find that we have done you a favour in abducting him. Our only course of action now is to threaten you with his release in the hope of raising enough money to cover the cost of the journey home again. Failing that, we will have to use the shit he talks as fuel for our return. It will be a long, arduous and smelly journey, so we are really hoping you pay up. :)
Sorry. We will not pay. We suggest you study your human specimen to find out how he differs from other humans. Our science is completely stumped by this Trump being. He seems to have a highly advanced reptilian mind, and fails with basic human compassion. We have suspected for a long time that he might be a human hybrid, mixed with those reptilians on our planet that live in deep underground bases. If you find out how to deal with this sort of being, that we might pay for. We have some clues. Trump doesn't appear to like cold weather, always fleeing to warmer climates, even when congress is in a complete bottleneck discussion. We also know that Trump does't like truth, and will even pay porn stars to prevent the release of truth. This is all we know at this time... truth and cold work against him. Also, be warned. If your mothership is cold, don't get too close to Trump. He can suddenly grab you with his tiny hands, pull you toward him, and steal your heat.