Divorce and Memories
In the beginning I was a God given gift in answer to a boyish prayer for his soulmate, a girl to truly love him.
For years I was best friend,partner,wife. Someone who he couldn't wait to come home to. I was a respite from the darkness that shadowed him when he was out away from home.
In the end I have become hated and detested. My brightness that use to light his dark days has become to him a curse and reminder.
I have come to understand that after taking so many losses in our relationship his darkness is too low and my brightness for him was now too far a chasm for him to stand.
Misery loves company and when his darkness grew he couldn't feel connected anymore to me. We became unequally yoked.
As I was once provided to him as a vessel of God's love , now she has provided for his darkness. Hers is as much darker then him as I was light to him.
I am still bright now. Yes dampened from the damage but rebuilding. What is the wisdom now is to decide how I will allow what has happened to effect my memories of all that ever happened.
Do I now see it all through his dark lense he brought to it at the end? Or do I somehow overcome and remember it all with the same joy I has while living it?
Tell me of your own lessons if you can. May bitterness never rule me again.
If there is no more light in a relationship only darkness and bitterness - there is no point to go on, hoping things will be the same as before. No they won't. It is a biggest self deception when you believe you can reverse the relationship to the point when it was beautiful. However both of you need to learn a lesson from each other. His darkness might be something that is teaching you the lesson. Maybe there is something within you that you hate so much and you don't want to see, so you hide it deep inside and pretend it doesn't exist, but then it gets projected on a partner.
I once made a choice (subconsciously) that led to the end of beautiful relationship with someone I thought was the love of my life. The formal reason was responsibility he had to take. The real reason, however, was within me - my own responsibility issues.
Everybody around is your reflection, but a partner reflects us more than others do, so the best we can do is to look for reasons and answers within ourselves.
So very true. I see clearer everyday how he (and everything) reflect to me what I am manifesting them in my life to be for me. I have been trying to make posts from a few different levels of "reality". It is being interesting. Love your post, it is exactly what the universe has been teaching 😂