Disney's World Domination Plans

in #disney7 years ago (edited)

After finally having installed a functioning flux capacitor on my DeLorean, I made a quick trip to the future to learn about Disney's plans to take over the world.

I have now returned to share with you the entire timeline.

2009: Disney buys Marvel
2012: Disney buys Lucasfilms
2017: Disney buys 21st Century Fox
2019: Disney buys Paramount Pictures
2022: Disney buys Universal Studios
2027: Disney attempts to buy Warner Bros, Warner Bros tells them to fuck off
2028: Disney, being highly pissed off, acquires their own private military
2029: Disney storms headquarters of Warner Bros, killing many, and taking the company by force
2032: Disney buys nukes from black market terrorists
2034: Disney buys Microsoft
2036: Disney declares war against the entertainment industry
2037: Skirmishes between private militaries occur in Hollywood and other places around the country
2038: Disney nukes Hollywood
2044: Disney buys the United States of America
2045: Disney reorganizes the American government into a totalitarian dictatorship, deemed "The People's Republic of Disney"
2047: People's Republic of Disney moves to annex Mexico and Canada with the military might of Mickey Mouse
2051: PRD buys celestial bodies such as the moon and Mars
2056: PRD colonizes Mars
2059: PRD colonizes rest of the solar system
2064: PRD starts construction of Dyson Sphere in the Sol System
2075: PRD scientists discover a form of FTL space travel
2078: First PRD voyage to Alpha Centauri system is successfully completed
2079: PRD successfully establishes a one world government
2080: PRD sends millions of military warships out throughout the galaxy, conquering extraterrestrial life on every planet and solar system
2092: Dyson Sphere in Sol System is complete
2100: PRD reaches type 3 civilization status, creating a Galactic Dictatorship under the people of Disney
2104: SkyNet becomes self aware
2112: STEEM is still $1
2117: Marvel and X-Men fans are still excited about new movies

Take action, don't take action, it's up to you.

Now I'm off to 1614 to celebrate @tuck-fheman's 50th birthday!

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Good one, @schattenjaeger! I think you may have overlooked 2018: base underneath Disney World raided and deep state Disney satanists arrested, or maybe that could be an alternate timeline.... wish @tuck-fheman a happy birthday from me!

What happened was I bought @tuck-fheman a bunch of socks as a present in 1614, and in the old timeline he would always receive socks at Christmas. This small mistake created a massive ripple effect that resulted in this alternate timeline, in which we currently live.

I also caused the market crash today. Sorry, guys.

You fiend! you've ruined the lives of countless crypto-noobs everywhere...

It is an excellent satire on the performance of the Disney company regarding its recent acquisitions (Fox, above all). No one should doubt that it is an entertainment giant.

Happy birthday to @tuck-fheman

Well at least it wasn't buzzfeed that took over...

I for one welcome our Mouse-Eared Overlords!

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hola compañero, tienes razón en mi opinión,, la verdad que el ratón me da miedo se esta apoderando de muchas empresas, y la verdad no es muy bueno dar tanto poder a uno solo, pienso que deberían corregirlo antes de que sea demasiado tarde,,, no a los monopolios.....

Great piece! Not at all outside the realm of possibility in this our current time-line. Keep us informed!

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