Being born into chaos

I often ask myself, how one could define laziness. Where’s the line between productive and contemplative stillness and being lazy?
Well, to me personally laziness implies being in a state, of non worthiness. A state, where we aren’t worthy of feeling good so we procrastinate in doing things- that we know would make us feel good, if we just did them.

In short- we lack discipline and try to defy rebelliously routine, as the 3 year old toddler within us, is still chucking a tanty, when it’s being told to clean up the room.

We are lazy in trying not to be mindful, not experiencing the present moment, because we are scared and we are not feeling worthy, of fulfilling basic human needs that make us feel whole. All because, we fear of not getting approval for taking care of yourself. Unleashing, our true inner gifts and powers; that arise when we nurture ourselves- can be overwhelming. Because, the love and compassion that flows through us in this moment, is an avalanche of fluidity that breaks down the stone walls of our dense hearts and fake egos.

Discipline and Routine, are connecting and grounding our monkey minds, into our physical bodies. They put boundaries into place, that allow us to clear our heads, so that we can see clearly and decide from a place, of where we have explored and reasoned all options and possibilities and come from a place of deep inner knowing. When our heads are cluttered, so will be our physical environment. This reflects in all areas of life.

We don’t live to our capacity, because we distract ourselves with who we want to be, instead of just being who we are. We run away from ourselves and responsibilities. Then, we feel guilty and mechanical and fall into a slump- which is called laziness, or depression?! These, are the things I would like to improve on myself but, without needing approval or self judgement. It’s about wisdom and “becoming and adult.” Not fighting it. It’s starting to make sense. I’m looking forward to explore the expansion that can happen, if I choose the path of not being lazy in working on loving myself.