Dirty One Liner Jokes (part-3)

Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: Why don't black people go on cruises?
A: They already fell for that trick once.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

Q: What has got two legs and bleeds?
A: Half a dog!

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin
A: Mever bin laid on

Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
A: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Q: What do you call a party with 100 midgets?
A: A little get together.

Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
A: E.T. eventually went home!

Q: Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
A: Because the 'p' is silent

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A: A lickalotopis

Q: What's the difference between being hungry and horny?
A: Where you put the cucumber.

What did the elephant say to a naked man? Hey that's cute but can you breath through it?

Q: Did you hear about the celebrity murderer?
A: He was shooting for the stars.

Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A: Anyone can roast beef.

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: Because he was looking for Pooh

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?

Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/dirtyonelinerjokes.html