Beginnings of my diary

Thought I'd post something to start with.

It was September 11, 2015, a rough day with me and James. James had felt like I wasn't giving him what he wanted. I was selfish, he said, wanting to have my cake and eat it too. I wasn't able to do that...I was actually kind of confused about that have my cake thing. I didn't really know what it meant. But I did know that there was something about my relationship with James that I wasn't reciprocating. I was trying, but I was also trying not to sacrifice my wants and needs. I mean, if I did what he wanted, I couldn't go back from that, even if he seemed to think I could. I knew myself. It's not just a casual thing. I would have to know that he's the one, or at least feel like I can't go on without being intimate. And I COULD go on without being intimate. It's not always necessary, and it's more of a sacrifice for the girl than it is for the guy. It's a problem that I seemed to face again and again: some guy really wants it so bad he doesn't realize that there more to a relationship than that. I wish more guys knew. We could not even physically touch and still be more intimate than a couple who has sex every day. The problem with that kind of intimacy is that it develops slowly. It's not something that can happen in the first week after meeting someone. James seemed to want true intimacy, but he didn't know any other way to ge that. He had the best intentions, though. I couldn't seem to make him see my way, and that upset me.

It was now that I'd gotten home and relaxed that I was facing a different problem. My phone bill was due in 5 days. If I couldn't cash my check by the following Wednesday, I would have to pay a late fee or risk losing service to my phone. This kind of sucked, because I'd just gotten a new computer and so didn't have any money saved up in case shit happened. I would have to wait and hope that early next week someone could help me cash my check. But there was another option. I could manifest the money I needed. I could ask the universe for it and somehow I would get it. I began to get a little excited, and a little nervous, too. I'd never tried something like this before. I began to imagine my phone bill being paid on time, and me having a little extra money left over to save up in case shit happened again. I imagined having a regular influx of this kind of money coming in, at least twice a week. I imagined saving and saving until I had enough money to go on a fancy vacation or perhaps decorate my new apartment really nice when I moved in. I imagined always having extra cash on hand to go to the salon and get my hair done twice a month, to go to the gym if I wanted to, to go to the restaurant and eat fancy food, to buy clothes, to go out with friends, to buy nice stuff when I wanted or needed it. And of course, to help out friends when they needed it, or just to treat them every once in a while. To be nice and to help out when I saw someone needed it. It would be nice.

"But I can't control every aspect of my life," I thought to myself "so this can't work." But then I thought, "I don't have to. I only have to believe I can." The universe will take care of the rest, I thought, because that's the way things work. The universe gives you what you believe you're getting. Even if you don't actually get it, things will change somehow in your world to make it look like you're getting it. People may think I was crazy to think that, but it has proven itself true time and time again in my life. And money itself had come to me in many ways before, just not at my command. So it wasn't an outlandish thought that I would stumble upon a way to make money, even if it was a job, and suddenly have enough to do whatever I wanted. I felt powerful then, like the creator of my own future. And it was fun, anyway, if nothing else.
I took another deep breath. Creating the money was the easy part. The hard part was deciding what to do with it. I felt like I was working my way into a life that I wasn't use to living, but that was okay. I just needed to experiment; that's what life is about. If we don't experiment, we don't learn things. So I experimented for about an hour and then for about another hour after chores. Then I fell asleep. And here's the interesting part...I dreamt about me and Faris going to his world, and then going on an adventure with my friends. We were in a wooded area, near the tower, and there were a bunch of people trying to storm it under cover of the trees, but we quelled the rebellion, the five of us, and we interrogated the insurgents (right word?) and then they told us of their leaders, the Pacifists. It was exciting to find out about the Pacifists, who themselves lived in the shadows, and no one knew about them really. Many thought they did not exist. And Faris and I made love in one of the top rooms, with soft, luxurious purple sheets, and a kind of large stool for a bed. The rest of the dream was kind of a haze, but when I woke up, I realized I'd had a lot of fun. I was full of lust from the lovemaking that had (?) happened. I don't know if lust is the right term...but I felt pleasantly satisfied and aroused at the same time. I imagined that Faris looked down on me and kissed my lips sweetly as he gently coaxed me awake. It was about 7:30 in the morning and I rose to make pancakes. I had to take a shower first, and I imagined that Faris stepped in with me and pleasantly carressed my body as I soaped up. I dressed in my white pants and festive black top with white polka dots so I could wear some nice jewelry with it and look nice. I put on some nice earrings and I found my nice ring in my drawer and I wore it, too. I decided to wear my black sandals and redo my nails red, because I liked that color, even though the red nail polish came off really easily. I made my pancakes and ate them with strawberries. I took a yogurt and some clementines with me in my bag, but I didn't pack it with anything else, and that included my laptop. I could do without it at least until I got back from my trip. I knew I was about to go to James's house...and I was going to spend a little time there before James and I went to Dave and Busters to meet Brianne. I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew I couldn't get to James and it was frustrating and tiring to try to get to him. But I liked talking to him and so I concentrated on the conversation going well. I imagined that we would talk about things such as what I would like to do in the future and how I liked fantasy and roleplaying games and also The Sims. Then I realized that everything really was about me. I didn't want to hear about him. So I went back and imagined that we talked about what he wanted to do in the future and what kinds of games he liked instead. I knew he liked basketball. Maybe I'd find out more. Maybe I'd find out that he liked to craft things or go to concerts and parties like I did. Actually, he did like going to concerts and parties...well, parties at least, because I heard him talk about that with Veronica and Rhonda, and as for crafting things, he talked about his sister making macrame things. And he likes his family, so that's one thing. Things his family does are a part of him too. I can relate to that somewhat. There might be a few things that I wished that he would like, but I didn't think there was much we had in common. Still, I hoped we could be best friends.

So I went to his house and we talked and I tried to open up like I had on the first day we met. We talked and I told him that I didn't really feel like we could see eye to eye, because he wanted physical intimacy and I did not...yet. I didn't feel like he really understood, either. I said I still wanted to meet him in his house though. I liked it. It felt like a second home to me...kind of. Not as much as my mom's house felt like a second home to me, but somewhat. I said I'd make a deal with him to be friends, if he could handle that, with no hope of being more than friends. Just very platonic friends with no sexual interest. If he could handle that, then I knew that he could be the right person for me. If not, then I would have to say that I couldn't afford to send him any more mixed messages, and so couldn't talk to him much or hang out with him at all, because if I did, he would think there was something more behind it.

We went to meet Brianne at Dave and Busters. I thought I was kind of stupid from talking with Brianne the night before. I didn't take pride in it either. But at least I knew I had a skill not many others did, a skill which most didn't even know existed. If I could somehow master the skill, I could become the most powerful person on the face of the planet. I would of course use my power for good.

So we spent a little time in the arcade, enough for me to spend my credits that Brianne had bought me for my birthday. She'd looked at the prices and eventually decided to go with the $29 that gave you 175 credits or something like that. I played at the arcade and eventually walked away with about 1125 tickets, enough to buy a cute little stuffed cat that Alex was supposed to get me for my birthday. It made a nice birthday gift even though it cost almost $50.

I walked away with the stuffed cat after James and I played some pool. I was hungry but I decided to wait until after I got home to eat. That was why I had made pancakes and strawberries for breakfast, so I wouldn't be hungry for lunch. I decided to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat when I got home. That was enough for me until dinner when I had to make something for myself, so I tried and made some grilled chicken to go with spaghetti and also to have with my salad the next day. I worked on my work for Joe. I decided to go for the font and do whatever I could to get it. After a few minutes of searching for the "Arabic" font, I was able to find it and download it. I was quite pleased. Then I had an idea.

My idea was basically to write a book that would allow a person to expertly craft the life that they wanted, by comparing life itself to a computer game. And in many ways it was: there were goals, adventures, levels of achievement, a money system, and other things that resembled a game. It's just that most people didn't think about life like that. They thought about it as something they were forced to do because they were in a trance, a daze. And I was also in this trance, because I didn't believe that implementing my idea would be easy. It would be, perhaps, for me, but not for anyone else who, for instance, didn't like games, or didn't like adventures. But then again, I knew that if I tried to cater to everyone, I would cater to no one, so I went ahead. I decided to take a break from writing in my diary to write my book. Damn, I realized, I'm still going to need my phone to use my apps. I just don't want to lose it because my insurance is no longer active. Then I realized that my new computer probably had that app as well. It was, after all, newer than my last one. So I searched for it and there it was! :-).

After writing in my book, I realized I wanted to create money. That was one of the things people wanted when they knew they had a magical genie who would always grant them something better than what they asked for. So I thought about money. But as I now realized, money wasn't the only way to get what you wanted. So I asked for money knowing that money might still not be what I get. I asked for a lot of money. I asked for what I had asked for before, which was $200 twice a week, or $1600 a month, roughly. But James's apartment wouldn't be ready until November, or possibly December. So by then if I had this kind of money, I would have more than $1600 saved up. If I got the money by October, which was only a couple of weeks away, I would have the $1600 saved up by November. So I imagined that by December I would have the agreement arranged with James and by January, I could move all my stuff into the closet and start on my adventures. If, however, by January I was able to move into the ATP I might consider moving in there and somehow making the extra money so I could enjoy myself the usual way, but travel and freedom I knew were what I really wanted. Still, I couldn't imagine myself turning down an offer to live in an apartment with a couple of roommates and my own room. I would have to wait (not too long) to see what the genie granted me in the way of fun and freedom.

I imagined getting the money and I imagined getting it that day (September 13) because I could and I knew the power of the genie. I imagined that, although I couldn't go anywhere today, that the money added up, and that by this time next week I had $400. I wouldn't spend it, because I was saving up for my adventure, but by October 13, I would have that $1600 that I needed. Then I would have even more money because I would keep making money, and by November 13 I would have $3200. Then I would travel to Rockland County and take my friends Cesar and Michelle to Dave and Buster's just like Alex did his friends. Or do something. I imagined that I started saving money right then and there. Now, I knew that because I had a genie, I could simply ask for a million, or a billion, and I toyed with the thought, but then I realized that the genie wouldn't have much room to give me something better, and if he (or she) did, it might disappoint me, because I would not be able to see how it was better with the expectations I would have with such a request. Also, it was better if such things came gradually, so that I could know how to handle them. If the million or billion came all at once, it would be overwhelming and after the initial euphoria wore off, I would be...well, I don't know. It just seemed like a be-careful-what-you-wish-for kind of thing. I would rather have $1600 or something better right now than that billion. And if I didn't earn it...well...if I didn't earn it that in itself would be a problem. But if I didn't ask for something big, I wouldn't know if my sudden success was from the genie or simply a fluke. So I slowly began to think: What could I ask for that would prove the genie was real but wouldn't be too big? I could ask the genie for a new computer, maybe. But I already HAD a new computer. I didn't want to be greedy and just ask for things because I could. Not that the universe would care, but I would. It's like asking for something and getting it, and then throwing it away and asking for another one because you're a spoiled rich kid. I could give this computer to someone, but it would still be a spoiled request. I could ask for a car. Now that would be something. But then I would have to ask for the upkeep of the car as well. No problem, I thought, I can ask for that too. I didn't know too much about cars, so I asked for a pretty one that I could handle easily and that ran well. I could use it to get places and sleep in, if I needed to. But I probably wouldn't need to. I could travel the country easier with a car, but then my general costs would increase due to the costs associated with the new car. I finally decided not to wish for that. It wasn't a total windfall, but I decided I was satisfied with the $1600, for now anyway. Every month I could go out, eat McDonald's, and so on. I could really enjoy myself. But it would be prudent to save some of that money, so I would. And so I finalized the wish and declared it granted in that moment. I felt a little nervous, but it was just money, I reasoned. It couldn't hurt. It could only help.

I kept writing in my diary with the wish granted, ready to make more wishes on the fly and declare them already granted. I couldn't go anywhere that day so I decided to think about working for Joe. It WAS extra money and there was no reason for me to quit...except for, ugh...the fact that if I worked for Joe I couldn't use those hours researching the right way to make money so I could make it regardless of where in the country (or in the world) I was, and so that I could be truly free. But then again, if I DIDN'T work for Joe, how would I have the extra money to do things I wanted or needed before November? And it wouldn't be fair to Joe. But it wouldn't be fair for me, either, if I worked for him or if I didn't...hmmm. The Internet would have to be working at home for this plan to work, I realized. I would have to sit on it for a bit.

I decided since I didn't have to pay my phone for a couple of months, I would be okay not working for Joe and putting all of my energy into this project. I could stand to make a lot more than I could with Joe and I could still work at home and set my own hours. The work itself would be easier too. It was a shame that I didn't have the time to do both. But if I could make $1600 as opposed to a quarter of that, why wouldn't I take the opportunity? It was just too bad I couldn't reach Joe at the moment. But it wasn't a big deal. I knew he would call me back. He would have to. It was his work, not mine. So I would have to focus on doing the work that would bring me the most return on my investment.

So I decided to see if I could download Time Tune or a similar app on my Windows PC. I did, but the apps on Windows 8 suck. James showed his true colors. I said I needed some alone time and he rescinded his offer of the new apartment space. I could ask Joe...he would be cool with anything...but then there's the, well...I don't know. He does have his own self-interests which involve me working for him, and if my plan succeeded, I wouldn't be able to work for him. I COULD mail him the work and he mail me stuff in return. I mean, it would take longer, but I could mail each project as soon as I finish it. Maybe Joe could help me out. And I could continue to make extra money.

If Joe can't help me out, maybe Mom could. But there's no space at all in that tiny house. Unless she simply said that the upstairs room was my space. But the thing is...would she be understanding of my little experiment? Even if she was, I couldn't make her stay there just to collect a monthly check, since I heard she was planning to move. My idea was a little insane for the mainstream, especially with me in the system. People would judge if they knew what I was up to. I would have to be covert and just pretend I was moving in with Joe. I wondered if the closet would be legal if he could somehow convert it into a small room. Ha...well, I would find out in December.

I had just looked online and found out that with serendipity I should be able to find a place to put my stuff for $200 a month without James's help. If it was a converted closet as I had thought, lots of people would be looking to jump on that offer. But I would have to be careful, right? What if they accepted my money and then got rid of my stuff? God, what am I saying? They wouldn't do that. But how could I know they wouldn't? I would have to ask my mom for advice. Or Joe. Or my counselor or therapist. But only tell them I was looking for the smallest, cheapest place possible for my SSI...not the rest of it. They would tell me how to proceed cautiously.

I was having an awful day again, with James and with the fact that I would have no free time and no smartphone for quite a while. But it would be worth it to finally have freedom and to not be tied down to anyone or anything. I smiled. I was feeling complete.

So Joe called and after I talked with him I knew that he had a space for me in his house. I also knew that if I needed extra money I could do more work for him and get paid more. I'd be super busy, but only for that first three months. I would have to seize any free moment I could for studying, and set aside time to work for Joe. I had at least three hours to do work each day. That should be enough, and while I was at program I had an extra three hours (total...at least) to work on my other stuff. I would have to be very careful to prioritize my time well so that I didn't lose my progress. So..it was 20 minutes from 4:30 PM when I had sat down at my PC. I had had about 45 minutes to work. After my first class, I would have another hour and 15 minutes to work, for a total of two hours. Then, after lunch and my last class, I would have yet another hour and 15 minutes at least before my taxi came to bring me home. So on Thursday I should be able to work for another three hours. And on Friday another three hours. And Saturday and Sunday too. No days off for me. I couldn't afford that. But I could afford to work, and to work hard, for what I believed in. No one else could do the work for me. I also realized I could write in my book during my first group. It would be time well spent, not working on Sudoku puzzles. My book was the big picture and this diary was the small picture. I wished I could write like Joe. But I didn't need awesome talent to make awesome money. I needed smarts, which I had, and I needed knowledge, which I also had available to me.

So my job, which was real, was finally about to make me real money. But only if I put in real effort. Cesar didn't have to go to program, but I did. Why? Because program doesn't consider my job to be actual work. What a crock! What a waste of time. I would have to work on my social skills so that I could graduate. No...I would just have to do my 4 hours of groups a week and be glad that I still had time to do my work...all my work. Because after that three months of work was up, I would have my money, I would have my space, and I would have my freedom.

I wondered if I should call Social Security to ask my questions about my benefits, or if I should try finding my hours on the website. Then I realized I couldn't connect, and I didn't have my Wifi hotspot. It sucked not having my phone. It really did. But my time was almost up and I didn't have much left to do. For now, there was no rush.

Well, I had to work for Joe straight through my designated program hours, so there wasn't much time for me to do other stuff. The benefit of that was that I would get paid more from Joe for my time. The detriment was that several months from now, I wouldn't be much further along my path toward self-sufficiency. I decided that three months was enough time to learn what I needed to learn, even if I only spent an hour a day learning.

On September 15, I realized that I was making headway with my goals. I would get at least $80 to save toward my goal...not as much as I needed, but perhaps I would make up for it in another week. I realized also that I hadn't made any other wishes than for money. How was I going to enjoy the money? Was it important at all, or was it important simply to know that I was rich? I could buy anything I wanted. I was never at a loss for money. I just needed patience, so that I wouldn't spend all the money I had. Then I would truly be rich.

I was so excited to wait until December. I couldn't reach Richard, which was a good thing. But the chance of getting my money back was also 0. Oh well, I'd make it back in one week. And then I would be on my way to good fortune. I realized that my checks most likely wouldn't come in until February of next year, but they also might take longer to come in. Then again with the new electronic transfer of funds, it might not take as long as it used to. I would have to find out in December when I was ready to move. Then I could make plans to either wait until February or move right then and there. I was very patient as a person, and I knew that as long as I had to wait, I would be capable. It would also give me more time to develop self-sufficiency. Now, if the group home would allow me to go on trips by myself, I would more easily be able to be self-sufficient, because it would be like a practice run, without the risk. But the group home wants to save their asses; if something happens to me they're liable. Stupid rules...I would have to pray to God for protection if I went out on my own. I would have to be sure that nothing would happen to me while I learned to be self-sufficient. I went to my happy place inside. I was writing, and that was my happy place. Then I had to go to group.

After listening to the Stress Relief tape I realized that I have to have the end in mind at all times, or I would get sidetracked. The end was a book, but I didn't need the book to make money. I needed the book to be a success in life. The money was just a nice bonus. In that vein I knew that I must not let myself starve if I could spend money on food. That would always be an option. But...how would I make the money by December to be able to save all the money Joe paid me? I wanted to get my hair done at the salon. That was expensive, and the money I saved from not using my phone might be enough, but definitely it would not be enough if I could not save the money I needed to be off on my own. Well, there was one thing I could do. Ask Joe if he could give me more work and move in with him immediately. But this would reduce my options. It would reduce my options if I decided to change my mind about going on a permanent road trip, because if there was an opening in the apartments, I would not get it. Also, it reduced my options if I wanted a psychiatrist to help wean me off my meds. That would take months, and I would have to wait and let the doctor do his thing. If I started this insane road trip now, I would not have the resources to fall back on if I needed them. I would not have the freedom to not see a psychiatrist, because I would still be on meds. A lot of things would not happen. But first of all, I needed this book. I needed it, because my life was a mess (well, not really a mess, I'm exaggerating), and I needed a sense of direction, and also of wonder and magic, because I was the kind of person that these things were important to me. So I made my first goal on the time off from work to work on the book, specifically. No use putting the cart before the horse. Now all I had to do would be easy. The book was inside of me.

All right, so...I started thinking even more and then I realized that things aren't what they seem. I might not be a billionaire off my idea because it might not do what I'm thinking. It might be a useful tool to keep track of my progress and motivate me, but it might not allow me the freedom of having magic powers. That might not be realistic, although everyone wants to believe that, myself most of all. But it is a worthwhile goal, and my billionaire self might be in the near future. Just because something isn't "realistic" doesn't mean you just stop thinking about it, because to me a lot of "unrealistic" things have happened in my life. Like what? you ask. Well...I was in the hospital, for one. I was mainstreamed. I graduated high school. I went to CNA training, and I finished it. Okay, maybe I didn't become a billionaire yet, but I'm capable of it. That's all I'm saying.

Being a billionaire involves something I'm not going to go into. I'd rather focus on the task at hand: making life interesting and fun. I know I am a human being and I have goals. So I have this idea. I'm a person. I have goals and wishes and dreams. What else is there? Well, there's my characteristics. My personality. My attributes. These are all different things. My characteristics would be my behavior. My personality who I am. My attributes my skills...all this at least in my definition of the words. Then there's my social status. My finances. My resources. My talents. Also my destiny or what I was born to achieve. That's a lot to juggle in one's head. But my book would do so in a way that's fun and engaging. I would read it every day like a novel and get further and further in life, not even trying really, because it would all be a fun game.

Okay, so interactive fiction...what if I wrote an interactive fiction novel of my life? Then I could put blanks in the story to write in details later, kind of like in my diary except that I don't actually write it until it's completed. All right, so a life is something that keeps going, and it presents you with problems and experiences. If you make the right choices, you go further. If you make the wrong choices, you fall back. If you don't make any choices, nothing happens. Right? So, there's a puzzle of sorts in every moment. If you do the best you become rich, famous, and other measures of success. If you do mediocre, you live most people's lives. If you do poorly, you're miserable...but sometimes you're miserable no matter what you do, or you're a success no matter what you do because you were born into certain situations. But "success" is different for everyone. For the poor, miserable person it would just be finding food. For the success, it would be something huge I can't even imagine. This is our lot in life and it seems fair, at least for the purposes of the game. Not everyone can have the dream life, but everybody can be happy, and everybody can achieve more than they thought possible. My book would be something that a person can carry with them everywhere and have the experience of life inside the book itself. It would also come with a code for a smartphone app and a CD for installing a software app on your computer, for those who were interested. And so it would be interactive. Okay, so I write the book as an IF novel. What happens first? Okay, so every person sleeps, and every person gets up in the morning, or in the afternoon or evening if that's when they get up. Or they might not sleep at all. But the day starts when they start. So the book would begin when the day starts and end when the day ends. So when you open the book, whenever you choose to open the book, it is the start of your day. Then the book walks you through all the choices you could possibly make, and then when you get to the end of the book, it's the end of the day and you're about to go to sleep. Now, you may open the book once and finish reading it in half an hour, but it always starts at the beginning of the day and ends at the end. Each day adds up in the keeping of the score from day to day. There would be a general point system to keep track of progress, like in most interactive novels.

So I'll take today as an example. I woke up. I got ready for program. I went to program. I went to the library. I went home. I started writing in this diary. I'm going to eat dinner, do my chore, take a shower, and then go to bed. It's not a very fun day, but it is a typical one, and in that synopsis I made many, many decisions, most of them tiny and I wouldn't even remember them. So I figure that if I wrote this book, I could use it either to plan my day as it was happening or to review my day when it was over. Or I could plan at the start of the day if I had time.

So within the moments of one's life are reactions and within those reactions are decisions, roughly. I react to things that happen throughout the day. My reaction influences things, like my mood (temporary attibute) and perhaps a skill, such as morale (???) or maybe it influences my attention. Would it influence my points? Well, in the reactions are decisions. Moments influence the decisions. Decisions influence the score. With each passing moment there are different decisions available. Maybe I should attribute decision cards, moment cards, and reaction cards. These would be in appendices of the book. "Cards" is just shorthand for items on a list. Once you have a moment, a reaction, and subsequently, a decision, which may be to wait, or otherwise do nothing...then there is a result, which may be raising or lowering your points, raising one or more of your attributes, or leading to another moment, reaction and decision, ultimately leading you down a new path in life.

Before you start a game, you usually stop to develop your character. An easy way to define a character is through a character class, which in this case is a one word description of who you are. With the character class comes a list of attributes that are important to the character class. Then there is what you would call the character's personality, which are numbers defining how the character is likely to react in certain moments or situations. This will influence how the book reads. That just makes it easier to write and include how the day goes, because I believe that a person's character and personality influences how they react to certain things and therefore how they perceive them. I might even write a separate book for each character class. It might be easier, because an interactive novel usually starts with a predefined character and to write one novel for every possible character might be exhausting and unproductive. But I would see first, because I had no way of knowing what the final result would be.

I needed to remember who I was, so I would have to look at my last character sheet which was in my book journal, the one where I wrote my daily check-ins while I was trying my book on for size. But the daily check-ins were a bit much. As an alternative, I can suggest that the person read my book at least ten times a day, if that sort of thing was convenient to them.

I would have to start to observe others if I wanted to know what other character classes there were, and that would be hard for me, but I wouldn't have to do that until I finalized my book. Many one-word descriptions abound for a person, and it usually amounts to that person's one greatest talent or the one thing most important to that person. For me, it is my imagination, so I invented the term "imaginarian". Being imaginative types, there's probably an imaginarian who's already invented this term, but that's all right. I didn't get it from them.

So, I accessed my journal and I realized that I have a rough system of how points will be allotted. I noticed that it would be really important for a person to have rules, based on their values, for each day, and if they follow all of these rules, they get a point bonus. This for me would help me stay on track. Also, I get points for completing an action step on one of my goals, which I will discuss later, and I lose points for not doing things I deem are required, or that actually are required. I get extra points for doing little special things that are known as side goals. Side goals are good to accomplish if the main goals seem too hard or you need a break from them.

I'm going to start writing my book for the Imaginarian, I thought to myself. I'll write what I wrote on my character sheet: Imaginarians are a rare breed whose use of their imagination creates the reality around them. They spend a lot of timme in their own minds, but they have immense power to change the world. The power remains trapped in the Imaginarian's mind and she must skillfully train her own thoughts, and possibly actions, to have a purposeful result.