Who the ‘hell’ am I

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to information as a point of spitefulness, because I believe that it gives me an edge over others

I forgive myself that I have created a belief within and as me that I should have an edge over another to give me an advantage in some way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as special or having a superior knowledge or intellect to another - and then within this create a belief that this will make me useful or worthy in another’s eyes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think or believe so ‘little’ of myself that I would need to make myself appear better to others through creating a version of myself that I think will be liked or useful to them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear of survival where I have attempted to create a version of myself through trying to be better than others in spitefulness by trying to convince them that I am a better bet, because I would be the better person for the job; as an example.

I forgive myself that I have seen/realised and understood how I am being ‘spitefully’ as a point of my feeling insecure and living out an old program of wanting to be seen as special in another’s eyes - and not corrected this with forgiveness and stopping in a moment and reminding myself that I don’t need to be validated by another and how this in a way feels empty, because I am not validating myself

I commit myself to redefine and live the word validate - and practice what it means to self validate - to give myself value each and every day as a point of self care through reminding myself that I matter and that I am all that I need and that I don’t need another to validate me.