10 Things That Are Secretly Making You Unhappy

We all have
our own unique set of habits, desires,
schedules, and ambitions. Sometimes, there are things
we do every day and mindsets
we have to guide our lives for better or for worse. If lately you have been feeling down,
off, or generally unhappy, but you are not sure why, consider these 10 things that might shed some light
on what the cause could be.

1. You're extremely goal-oriented. Having ambitions
   and having objectives in life are great qualities. They make us excited, give us something to look forward to, and achieving them feels empowering. But there's also such a thing
   as being too goal-oriented. Are you telling yourself things like: I'll feel good when I finally
   get a perfect grade, or I'll be happy once
   I get that promotion? If you constantly have a habit of waiting to arrive
   at certain destinations in life, it can take you away
   from being happy now. 2. You value possessions
   over experiences. Do you spend all
   your money on fancy watches, shoes, clothes,
   or other material items to make you feel good? There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself with things
   from the store once in a while, but according to a 20-year study conducted by Psychology Professor,
   Dr. Thomas Gilovich, our happiness quickly fades
   after buying things once they become an
   everyday part of our lives. This is known as hedonic adaptation. Experiences such as music concerts, kayaking, skydiving, or movies may not last as long
   as that new smartphone you bought. But the positive, exciting memories could last the rest of your life.
2. You're holding a grudge When you've been wronged by someone, it's easy to feel resentful
   and angry towards them. And that's a very normal
   and completely understandable response. But no matter how badly
   someone has treated or how much headache they have given you , holding a grudge with the intent
   to hurt them backfires and just ends up hurting yourself. It may feel good to think you're justified and
   deserving of extra kindness due to how badly you were abused. But if you never forgive and let go, the anger will only spiral you into more negativity
   and keep you from being happy.
3. You spent a lot of time in the past. It might feel nice for a while
   to drift off into past memories and reminisce over
   how fond life was: your first kiss,
   good times you had partying, and winning that football tournament were all amazing times in your life. But there's a difference between thinking about the past
   and living in it. Keeping your head
   in the clouds for too long can rob you of your happiness
   in the present moment and make you miss opportunities that are passing right in front of you. What's worse is brewing
   over negative memories, which will take an even bigger toll
   on your well-being. 5. You're overly frugal
   with your money. Saving your hard-earned cash and only spending it
   when absolutely necessary and on the best possible deals will help keep your wallet
   from becoming empty. But if you're so strict
   with your budget to the point that
   you're never having any fun or treating yourself with it, the whole point
   of trying to save it all can actually make a dent
   in your happiness. Money is meant to be spent after all. And as long as you are wise with your money it's okay to treat yourself and go out for dinner or go bowling with your friends or go to the movies once in a while.
4. You're not contributing. It's natural to feel like you must keep everything
   that you own to yourself. However, according to researchers
   , when we're generous
   and give or provide to others, our brains release several chemicals that give us a sense
   of peace and joy and contentment. In another study,
   it was discovered that people who volunteer
   around four hours a week are 40% less likely to develop high blood pressure
   than those who don't. Perhaps giving truly is
   better than receiving.
5. You avoid all your problems. Rather than focusing on the fact you're in debt and have
   no plan to get out of it, it's much better to push
   those thoughts down with binge video gaming,
   distracting yourself with social media, drinking, and snacking. Or is it? It's never healthy to dread
   about your issues and worries. But if those problems
   aren't properly addressed, they will only create more stress
   and unhappiness in your life. It doesn't matter
   if you're not thinking about that unaddressed argument you had with your
   best friend the other day, because you're still
   aware of it subconsciously. If you never tackle
   your issues head-on and try to pretend they're not there, it may only make things worse.
6. You allow distractions
   to guide your day. What's the first thing
   you do after you wake up? Grab your phone and
   start swiping on social media? What about during your free time? If you want to win
   an Olympic gold medal or become a pop star one day, it will be a good idea to
   set time aside to start practising, working out, and honing your skills. But if you find yourself spending your whole day
   reading through emails, swiping or texting on your phone, or zoning out while watching TV
   or playing video games, you usually won't feel good about how you spend
   your time later in the future.
7. You deflect compliments. Sometimes, our self-esteem is low, or we don't want to come off
   as arrogant or full of ourselves, so we deflect, reciprocate, or discount others
   positive words about us. But in reality, there's nothing wrong with accepting
   people's kind remarks. In fact, that's the whole reason they're complimenting us
   in the first place. When we're told
   we have a nice haircut, instead of feeling happy and appreciated, if we respond with phrases like, "It's okay I guess"; or
   "I wish it looked better", this isn't the best habit if we want to feel
   good about ourselves. 10. You're taking life too seriously. It's important to be safe,
   careful, and mindful of the decisions you make in life. But if you're continually afraid
   of what others think of you, worrying about embarrassing yourself, or getting upset at every single
   inconvenience that happens to you will be stopping yourself
   from being happy. Life really is a roller coaster. After things go down,
   they'll go back up. Just laugh, choose to be happy,
   and have more fun. Have you identified
   with any of these? Do you feel like
   you have any habits that are making you unhappy? Tell us your story in the comments below.
   

   As found on Youtube

   
   

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