I feel you dude, but don't be hard on yourself ever. If you believe you're depressed, you're going to be depressed. But, if you can listen to all those positive thoughts... you can be free'd from depression. If anything it's a poncy scheme on peoples lives with medications and right now "we" are all the trial and errors. And, when you look em up - there's a lot of errors. Don't misplace your heart and focus and stay active. Keep your daughters in mind and do everything you can to make your day brighter. Sometimes we just have to go through some hard times to get to the positive results... just keep pushing. I don't think you're depressed - I think you're over stressed and feel like you've neglected your own hearts emotions. I was there, and I got off medications and I feel free now... Free from all that clutter anyways, am I depressed or am I not depressed? Huh, I think I'll just choose that I'm not, and go rollerblading, and do something active that I love. And, you know what? It was the most amazing feeling that I could have ever felt. Just that. Rollerblading and listening to my most inspiring jams on the headphones. Nothing could beat it, and it was me against the world now. Read some of my work, I bet you'd like my book on here. Thanks for sharing your deepest heartfelt thoughts on the matter. You're going to succeed bro. Keep up the positive and keep on fighting those dark times away... and one day your mind will feel what I felt... kick the medications if you can, and you can experience things a little differently... it might be hard to do, but my body and my mind were irreplaceable when I was off medications... that's the way I want to stay!
Good luck!