Thinking with a capital T will set you apart from others, as in you will have a lonely existence. I heared some wise guy say this once and it kinda struck a nerve with me.
IMO you are describing depression as a result of to much thinking, but your greatest aspiration is a future were humanity is united and great and [found the true meaning of life?].
You say rationally life isn't beautiful. I think you need to write a book to better explain what you mean by that, at first reading this doesn't make sense. Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What's there to reason.
Maybe you are referring to the knee-jerk reaction upon finding out you have milions of microorganisms in your stomach and the world is full of germs.
That doesn't stop people enjoying scat, does that make them incompatible to live in your beautiful world?

I've heard a nice presentation by Douglas Crockford about humans and software programming. He contrasted us as having gut reaction (fight or flight response) and beings capable of abstract thought. Maybe you aren't using your gut enough, go out there and live life and this doesn't mean quit your life and go travel or do something crazy. This is something you can do in most daily jobs.