I feel this! My suburban, cry-when-the-fish-died upbringing did not prepare me for how visceral and raw Real Country life is. We've had lots of losses, and even though I "get better" with each one, I feel like I have three decades of not seeing death to make up for.

So sorry to hear the news about your ducks and rabbits, though. I had a friend once tell me that pets are "ticking, heart-break time-bombs." I don't look at livestock the same way (as much...anymore...), but it's still a blow, particularly when you just have a handful! Glad to see it's a learning experience in your perspective, not just a loss. Hang in there!