Post of Today

Hello again its me .
Today i feel a bit melancholic, it migth be because I miss my parents a lot , but some how i feel that i am getting old too, today when i was coming back from work i suddenly saw my hands and i realized they loocked a bit wrinkled, i could even see my Index finger a bit crooked , and i can tell you it doesn't make me feel happy at all .
You all migth be thinking that is silly what i am feeling, but the fact is that i feel my life has gone through, and i didn't realize When did all happened???, i think i should have been more fun when i was younger, but the fact is I was a very borig girl !

The sadest thing of this, is that i choosed myself to live this way , when i lost my mom I was 21, I gave up so many things that i could have enjoyed but instead i took care of my depressed dad and , i married very very young.
I decided to marry that fast because i didnt want to loose the chance to build up my family .
But the fact is that, to combine a newly married couple and to take care to a very very depressed father can be very complicated, it migth not be the best way to start a marriage.
However, i married a great man who helped me all this way long , he was always very very caring and understanding with me and my depressed dad, and he helped me to take care of my dad until his last moments.

I can tell you i am not regreat of any of the desitions i have made so far because all this desitions lead me to where i am now, i have the greatest daugther and i think she is worth all the sacrifice i made.
I guess i am just saying that i wish i had lived my life the way i once dreamed of, now i am stucked in my stressing job, and i feel i want to do so many things , but i dont know where or how to start, i want my daugther to see me, not only as a warrior but i want her to see me as a happy mother.
I wish a great day or nigth to all of you, and really thank you for creating this space in which i can express the way i feel.
Peace and love.