The Fourth Pillar of Healthy Relationships

Pillar 4: Knowing and Understanding Our Needs and Desires: learning the distinction between needs and wants, we may feel shame just for feeling desire for something outside of our control, caused by a parent ignoring or overindulging the child

• Needs: food, shelter, education, medical attention, affection

• Desires: entertainment, wealth, possessions

• Dependent: know needs and desires, but expect others to take care of them

• Antidependent: recognize that one has needs and desires, but would rather go without them being satisfied than be vulnerable and ask for help

• Desireless and needless: not aware of survival needs and desires that cause happiness

• Confusing needs and desires: an individual who confuses the two, they may overindulge one to compensate for the other