A letter to me....

norihany (56)in #curie • 5 years ago

I WANT YOU TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE STRANGENESS OF THE TEXT AND THE WAY OF THINKING OF A SAD PERSON

photo taken by @norihany

I realized that I loved you when the things that happened to you directly affected me...
I'm sorry I let you down, I promised not to hide anything again ... for what happened I will be more aware.
I don't know what to do anymore. I feel that everything that happens to you is my fault and the truth is that I feel that I am so bad for you. I wish I could walk away without much ado but that's love, unpredictable, stubborn and painful. I'm not a person who deals very well with goodbyes, nor am I one of those who give up easily even if you see me dying in tears and think that I'm falling apart is not like that. I have thousands of relapses, in fact it has been like that lately, I'm sorry if I haven't told you but I got very far away from my friends and family because I didn't want them to know that I'm sick. I have sought a kind of refuge in you and I have not told you, I have not discussed this with anyone, I have hidden it from you for weeks. I have an enormous conflict with myself, I feel insufficient and I have tried to cover that feeling by giving you affection, maybe that is why you have felt me so intense.

When you really love, you feel the end...

It's really like that, I feel like I'm losing you and I can't deal with it, I've wanted to talk to someone but I haven't been able to do it, I've wanted to cry but the tears are trapped in my eyes, I've wanted to scream and I'm afraid of being judged. I've never been able to make you feel all mine before I felt that you loved me but now I just feel that I'm here and now.
Love, I wanted to go running to Venezuela, I feel that your words, rumble in my head again and again. I don't know who to believe anymore, I don't know whether to believe that sweet person who tells me that he loves me and that he is going to fight against the world with me, or that cold person who lost happiness and gets me totally unbearable. You say that I have changed but you are the one who has changed with the problems you have. I don't know if running out to look for you or if that decision would be too reckless, even talking to you scares me and I hate it.
I don't know what happened.

I threw myself into a flyer for you and you didn't even take it into account.
You know I don't have anyone to comfort me or to give me a little hug that comforts me, but I feel that you hide so much.

I think my biggest mistake was falling in love with you, and that you did not do it with me. forgive me I thought it was love ...

You know lately I feel colder than usual, lately you feel very distant and distant, no matter how hard I try to make you laugh, I feel that your smiles no longer belong to me. lately I feel more difficult to talk to you and that you are by my side but you do not want to do it. Today I renounce you, I let you go, sometimes there are battles that I can not win and this is my retreat, I go with my head up knowing that I love you until no more and that I fight for you until the last second, but I'm indignant that you let go of my hand in the most difficult moment because you surrendered, because you preferred to renounce just because the road was extreme, because you found yourself with a stone and did not rodaste only you stayed there blaming me.