With your bleached white face and cheezy grin, the conductor’s hat’s fooling nobody, Mr. Joker, sir.

Prelude to the review.

When I go to sleep at night, I’ve got myself into quite the habit of putting my earbuds in and listening to ASMR videos. It actually all started at the library. I would routinely head over to my local library with textbooks in hand to study often only to find myself mesmerised and in a weird daze. The deafening silence of the library was juxtaposed against the unmistakable crinkles of newspaper pages and the sound of an old man smacking his lips after he wet his thumb to turn the pages. I had no idea what the sensation that enveloped me was until I had first heard of it on an episode of the Mysterious Universe podcast. It’s addictive stuff.

So here I am, in bed, earbuds in. I have the smooth sounds of Ephemeral Rift easing me to sleep. The process comes undone when YouTube fails to recognise that I have the toggle for “play next in queue” clearly in the off position. I find myself listening to the story of Batman Beyond “Joker Beyond” as it was titled on the Comicstorian video. I drifted in and out of sleep, not able to muster the strength to remove the buds or just turn off the video. As it turns out, this is a really awful way to listen to a story (if you actually want to appreciate it.)

Title? Pfft. Here is the book you seek.

As I’m searching for the comic online to actually read it for myself, I’ll be damned if there’s any book titled Batman Beyond “Joker Beyond”. What sort of imbecile (with an enormous online following) creates a video about a comic book and doesn’t give the appropriate title of the book??? Fear not fellow comic nerds, he linked the.. No. He didn’t even link the book. Of course, I had to leave a comment on the video pointing out the egregious error he had made in omitting such vital information.

You’re welcome.

Without further ado, I present the comic I fell asleep to, then woke up to.. then..

You get it.

A Joker book aptly titled, “The Final Joke, Part 1” already seems to be taking the piss. Looks like this will be a fun ride.

For the uninitiated, Batman Beyond is set decades into the future where Bruce Wayne is a greying old man (but still as buff as a silver-back gorilla). We enter the scene with Dick Grayson (now mayor of.. not Gotham) trapped in thoughts of his previous life as Robin as his daughter Elainna struggles to get him on track for the grand ceremony. I could spill all the beans in one go (I’m tempted, let me tell you), but I’ll indulge the story if not just to show you some of the artwork along the way that led me to my creative conclusions.

In essence, Grayson is telling this story [flashback style] for the most part.

Grayson: Aw. Remember those days when the Joker just about blew my brains out? Thems were the days.

I didn’t mind this first flashback, actually. Joker, of course has planted some explosives on a train and is planning on blowing up a container filled with deadly laughing gas. Bats yanks off the bomb. It detonates safely below and now we have a really erked Joker who grabs the useless Grayson in order to satisfy his need for bloodshed. Batman punches Joker and frees Grayson. How else was this going to end?

The new Bats and Robin touch down after being summoned by Babs Gordon.

So, in "Neo-Gotham” as they’re all referring to it, our new caped-crusaders are brothers Terrence McGinnis and his younger brother Matt. As a side note, there was a family of McGuiness’s that lived next door to my nan, growing up. I’m pretty sure at least one of them had a mad crush on my older sister. True story. Moving on.

Look, I get that arting can be really hard and all that, but sheesh, this style has a LOT to be desired.

I really don’t like ragging on an artist, but I really struggled the whole way through the issue. It’s like watching a movie with a great opening sequence then they cut to the first introduction of the main characters and you’re confronted by the face of Kristen Stewart. The movie is wrecked from hereon out.

For the record, I can’t recall a movie that could have been improved if Kristen Stewart had not been involved. I’m looking squarely at you, Twilight. It was a trash book and an awful movie.

Batman and Robin are quickly made aware that a bunch of Joker wannabes called the Jokerz are becoming the targets of a serial killer who apparently doesn’t like criminals posing as Joker fan-boys. Robin gets all queasy (awwww) after he witnesses the bodies of the deceased who’ve been gnawed at by some hungry rats. Maybe little Matty isn’t ready for the big time yet?

Queue the grand ceremony!

Bruce Wayne’s decided that he’s going to donate the deeds of a new building (in the shape of a massive ‘W’.. ego much?) to the people of Neo-Gotham in order to usher in this great new age. The huge meet up on top of the building sees the caped-crusaders of today and yesteryear gather in a big warm hug. Before we see a glimpse of a pissed-off Joker in the crowd “hiding” (his head is down) in a purple suit wearing an overt purple fedora. Oh Bats, where’s the ‘Joker detector’ when you need it?

So a few pages of backslapping and dedications later…

Grayson flashes back to when Mr. Freeze got whooped by Red Hood.

Sailing over a damaged bridge in Gotham used to be fun back in the day. Now all the bridges aren’t broken. Nawww.

Despite engaging the turbo, the rocket-powered tank still fails to get to the other side. Cue the ejector seat from the multi-million dollar tank to punch a guy who’s freezing a city to "preserve it" because his dead wife loved Gotham the way she knew it. Bitch, please.

Funnily enough, in this flashback, Bats manages to get himself frozen by an old man wearing a bulky freeze-ray who’s then rescued by Red Hood. Bats shows his appreciation by berating Mr. Hood for blowing up the glass bulb covering Freeze’s head and repeatedly punching his face.

"Wait, so no punching now, Batman?"

"No. No punching."

"Dude. You keep changing the rules."

"Glove slaps only from now on. Punch anyone else and I'll kill you."

I do like the tenacity of the Red Hood. He’s my kind of goodie.

Bruce gets shocked that some people in Gotham would want to be baddies even when the Joker was gone!

So according to the lovely editor, we’re reminded that the Joker died in the second ish of Batman Beyond then there was an emergence of a bunch of wannabes who idolize him. Gotham is supposed to be a cesspool. Even in the real world, which isn’t an awful place (for a privileged white man) we have morons who idolize evil people. Why would Gotham be any different?

Interestingly, we learn that Bruce suffered a heart attack during combat while rescuing an heiress (the reason for his retirement).

Let’s assume that to be out pouncing off roof tops fighting crime, Bruce has got to be extremely fit and not some an old man hobbling about with a walker. Even now, he’s portrayed as a big guy. So why would a fit man who can run and leap about, punching bad dudes in the face have a heart attack at potentially (his age wasn’t revealed) such a young age? Considering that Gothamites probably eat the same as the majority of Americans, I’d wager that Mr. Bruce Wayne suffered a heart attack caused largely by the foods he was eating. Let’s hope he’s gone plant-based or else we might find our pointy-eared, rich friend dead to the Western World’s most common killer – heart disease.

Wouldn’t that be the real tragedy, here?

Joker hijacks a train and sends it to do his destructive bidding! (insert evil laugh)

Spoiler Alert! It DOES do some destructive damage, indeed!

What I love about the Joker is that he’s as unrelenting as the Red Hood. Except the control and influence Batman has over the Joker is a little more distant. For all the good Batman did holding back the Red Hood from killing Freeze, he was nowhere to be found for the poor train driver. Joker waltzed on in and took apart his neck with a knife. All off panel, of course.

Joker lives!

The last part of this issue takes us up to the tower where Barbara Gordon is frantically trying to get in contact with the White House. She’s met by the awaiting Joker in her office.

I am digging the hibiscus flower shirt, but would a lei have been too much to ask?

I have to say, a yellow water gun would have been a bit more ‘Joker’ instead of the revolver he’s pointing. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to squirt flammable liquid from a water gun bearing a flame at its nozzle at Barbara Gordon?

You animal! Hasn’t she been through enough? That woman was paralysed by the Joker, and now you want her doused in petrol and set on fire?

This is where we're left, folks. Fin.

Don't worry, though. I guarantee my rendition of this issue will have left you far more satisfied than the actual issue. I spent all morning writing this review (and reading the comic for myself) and to be honest, reading my own writing gave me the chuckles. I'm just glad I have the sense of humour and creative talent to turn something mildly interesting into something pretty funny.

I give this issue a solid three flaming water guns out of five. Don't rush out, assembled nerds.

But here's a link if you do.. Batman Beyond #25. As a side note, I'm taking comic review requests. If you've got this far, bravo. Now write a comment.

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Nick.

All content is original and belongs to @nickmorphew [20 July 2019].

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I’m currently working on my debut fantasy novel based on my early work, Adventures in Elowyn Glade. Click the link to get an idea of where my first novel is headed!

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