Beginning of my Journey.

Today marks the beginning of a long road ahead. But first, I will try my best to introduce myself, along with answering questions on why I am here in the first place.

I remember when I was 12 years old, I used to play outside everyday. Ride my dirt bike everywhere. Play in the sand. Make contraptions/traps, just to see if they would work. As the years moved on I got introduced to the playstation and from there the computer. Perhaps this was a good thing, maybe not. My love did grow for computers, and I did spend the next few years up to this point playing computer games and loving the time. Naturally I developed both good habits and bad habits because of this. The positive aspect of spending so much time in front of a computer is that I have developed a good mind for problem solving, a technical mind for solving computer related issues. Perhaps all that time spend building custom pc's and reading computer magazines, has given me some skill related to pc's. It definitely has not helped in my writing skill, as I am completely shit when it comes to writing. I was never good in High School with anything related to language or writing, but come to think of it, I was not really good at High School to begin with. Completely hated to whole idea of High School. But anyways.

Today I waste my self-taught computer skills on entitled self-centered hypocritical assholes. It feels really depressing solving people's computer related technical problems, and the best these people can muster is a quick thank you. A thank you which in most cases does not mean anything, because the only reason you sound grateful is when the problem was resolved. Watch what happens when the problem can not be resolved.

I do sound like I am looking for sympathy. I do really doubt anyone would give a shit about my problems. We all have our own problems to deal with.

For the past 3 years I have spend trying to find some sort of way to gain success. Success in the form of making some extra money for myself. Since I really do dislike my current situation, especially my day job. I have a strong feelings towards trying to be independant. I ask myself why should I work for some random company that I do not really care about. The only reason I am there is because I get paid for it. I really want to get somewhere in my life based of my own hard work and choices. I do not want my own life to be governed by someone else, because that is what society expects of me and that is the way it has always been.

So for the past few years I have spend looking for opportunity. Mainly from the internet. The idea of being able to work from anywhere in the world at any time really speaks to me. Being bound to a stupid cubicle or one building makes me come home everyday and swear at random crap. Not only to I want to be more successful but also a better person, and I know for sure spending time doing a job you hate and not following your dreams is a sure way of becoming a monster.

So its safe to say I have not been successful so far from the internet. Lets shoot off a list of stuff I have tried doing , contemplated in doing, which I have given up on, either because I got bored or irritated with to quickly. How does one find a passion in life , or at least something that one is willing to stick with long enough to see it successful without become severely pissed off in the process?

So my list of failures so far. This list is based on my own opinions. Which some people will disagree with.

Paid Surveys - Its boring, mind numbing. Does not really work if you don't live in the right country where 90 percent of the offers are not available, and you have to be a resident of a specific country that does give more paid offers.

Sports Betting - Again does not really work if you are not a resident of the right country. As you will see, some countries are just useless in terms of providing opportunity. I happen to be in one of them. Plus its gambling which I don't find ethical or worth my time.

Youtube - Tried making lets play videos with modeling software such as Maya and Steam Video Editor. Gave up after 3 videos.

Making Game Models for games like Steam. (Dota 2, Counter-Strike). Felt it was too saturated of a market and gave up.

CGI Models - Same thing, gave up after making one model transposed onto live footage. Spending many hours getting one video edited was not enjoyable. Send emails to many CGI Studios, because I wanted to make a career in the movie industry.

Web Site Design - Spend 6 months both learning web site programming ( Javascript, HTML , CSS, Bootstrap etc). Realised after 6 months that I hate bug fixing, because I wanted to rip my hair out of my head when I could not fix a bug fast enough.

The list does not end here. But the point I am trying to make is that I have not found something in my life that I am willing to be content with for long enough to make a success out of it. Maybe I am spoilt. Ungrateful for what I have. I am perfectly healthy, got a job. Get paid to to that job. Have food to eat. Got a car to drive. Have both parents that are not divorced. Have a loving sibling.
So what the hell am I complaining about? Well, I am not really happy with what I have achieved so far in my life. Maybe its my shitty day job. Maybe its my self-confidence issues. Perhaps my social anxiety. All things I am trying to work on. One problem at a time. If feels like a curse to have massive ambition but failing to be ambitious. Failing to make any progress in life, is very frustrating.

So...

After all my internet failures I have found cryptocurrency. And I pray to God that this is the thing I stick with long enough to see it successful. Because quite frankly I almost feel like giving up on following my dreams. A dream that for the most part does not involve working for people.

I will be writing on Steemit from now on for accountability and hopefully someone could benefit from my story in the future. I am crossing my fingers that maybe 2 years from now I can stare back to this post and laugh at this.
Steemit will be both a place to vent and also so I can track my progress.

I am just like any other person trying to carve out a piece for himself in this huge world. New to cryptocurrency and just starting to learn.

My next post will be all about how I found cryptocurrency, and how I have just started delving deeper into the very interesting world of digital currency.

Good Day

NightHawkTB.