It's a good explanation, some people could wonder why there's even need for such system and that's something you could explain also in another section for those who are interested to learn.

Like history of currency and how fiat is no more backed by gold and how it comes to existence and by whom.
People don't know this stuff, the money just works for them so they never had to think about it either.

Also: A very simple analogy could be "Blockchain is like an accounting book, every transaction is recorded in it by the system and every participant keeps a copy of it, making manipulation impossible. The book itself is something users have access to but can't control over. No one can erase from it or block someone from adding to it. It's that simple, yet very powerful. "