RE: How I have learned not to care about the $40,000 in FIAT in lost in Crypto over the last 3 months
WHY FML
1)I was born with a genetic disease neurofibromatosis, which is normally hereditary, but somehow I contracted it as a result of a genetic anomaly - which maybe occurs in 1 and 20k births. As a result I am treated like a freak and have never got to experience love and or having real friends. I have always been a social outcast, because everyone is weirded out by the way I look.
I was sexually abused for years as a child by a family member. Because of my condition, I have never had a normal sexual experience, so the only thing I can think of is those terrible experience.
I spent 6 years in school trying to become an accountant - I graduated the top of my class with a bachelor degree. But no accounting firms will hire me because of the way I look and my social anxiety.
I spent the majority of my life living in poverty -for instance having no power, water or electricity in the dead of winter for weeks at a time and this is Canada, it gets down to minus 50 where I live. We struggled because my dad was trying to build a business, finally after 30 years of struggling, we finally where doing well then everything was stolen by our solicitor - who managed out family trust. Its been 3 years and we are still fighting it. My dad has lost his mind and are family is destroyed as a result
I invested all of my life savings in December 2017 into crypto $40,000 because I was desperate and didn't know what to do after the lawyer created all this havoc. I was facing homelessness and didn't know what I was going to do. That $40k in now worth maybe 2 or 3k and I am now living in my car.
Fuck my life. This luck isn't human. The second I find the courage to kill myself I am doing it.I just prey that it is sooner rather than later
In the face of the woe that has befallen your life any words I have to say seem hollow. The only point I can identify with is financial hardship as I have been bankrupt and lost everything many years ago. At the time it seemed like there was no point to anything, with failure at every turn, but that is depression and it is an ugly beast not easily sated.
Graduating top of your class in accounting is no small feat. You should be proud to have done that and not be considering throwing that effort away via suicide. Suicide is a wholly selfish act and no words by me will change your mind, that is on you. The fact you write about it gives me hope that you are looking for alternatives... keep looking! As any life, shit or otherwise, even one struck by the horror yours has been, is an amazing gift so don't throw it away! Don't make another stupid decision as you sound like you are smarter than that.