WTF Coinbase? - How Coinbase Stands to "Enherit" Millions in Forfeited Crypto
If you are anything like me then you probably have said the title of this article at least once this month. Coinbase has seen some explosive growth over the last year going from a large exchange to a mega-exchange in months. This freaking exchange-Godzilla has more users than the brokerage Schwab has accounts and that was last years statistics.
While the growth this exchange has experienced is undeniably awesome in terms that it means more people are entering the decentralized economy, Coinbase seems to be turning its back on its original customer base (why you hate'n Coinbase).
Getting Personal Coinbase
This is where the story gets personal….I'm just like you - a fun loving Cryptonian who is out to make some extra Satoshis here or there and as you would expect I definitely have (uh um...had) a Coinbase account. Not only did I have an account that I invested in weekly but I also helped at least 20 people I know start their accounts.
So what I'm saying is…Coinbase owes me some serious cash….J/K. What I'm really saying is that I would have expected at least an email from this billion dollar exchange to update me on the institution of KYC laws.
I don't trade crypto because I want to continue feeding the beast that is currently plaguing the entire human race and I am a huge supporter of the decentralized economy. When I signed up for Coinbase, I thought that they were too.
Ok…this part is where I will use some empathy and say that YES, no-shit Coinbase was going to institute whatever laws they needed to keep those sweet greenbacks rolling in. For that, I cannot blame them at all and I can safely assume that for the rest of my life, people will probably always choose billions in crypto over my happiness. :(......
What made me super salty balls about the entire process was that I never even received an email notifying me that now I would need to provide multiple forms of ID to withdraw my currency holdings. Ok….here I have to say that I actually only had around $1 on the exchange because….ya know….who leaves their crypto on an exchange buttttttt beside that, the point is a courtesy email would have been nice.
Yeah, I know, you are probably like "Dude, all this ranting over less than a dollar?"….. and to that, I'm like uhhhhh hell ya, I get upset just thinking about all the poor bastards (quite possibly literally poor now) who can't access their crypto at the moment. Yes, I could have easily sent my ID over but to do that would have been supporting what I see as an organized crypto heist…..here me out.
Coinbase's Master Heist Maneuver
This is what I see playing out over the next few weeks. Coinbase is going to use the KYC laws to confiscate a shit ton of crypto. Here is the plan as I would do it if I were them (and a piece of shit).
First, you lock everybody's account that cannot provide ID. This would be usually considered as stealing but it can now be called instituting anti-money laundering laws. So now you got this percentage of Coinbase's users, who, for whatever reason, do not want to send over their personal information.
Well, you might ask yourself "What happens to those account's holdings if they never provide the newly required documents?" As far as I can tell, Coinbase goes on ahead and slides those sweet Satoshis right into their sticky little pockets.
Now, there is a slight chance (1 in 1,998,999,676) I could be wrong and perhaps those forfeited funds are somehow sent back to their rightful owners but considering the fact that all the Coinbase executives have gone out and bought the IRS's favorite shade of lipstick, I don't think those funds are going anywhere but Coinbase's wallet.
Let me know what you think fellow Steemtronites is Coinbase shiesting people out of crypto or are they just the helpless victim of regulations?
