Failure is always an option

The old saying is "failure is not an option". That sounds great in movies, but is not the reality.

Failure is always an option, but it is what you take out of it that matters.

I screw up a LOT. It is part of creating and learning. Learn how to fix the failure, learn how to not do that again, learn how to switch the direction of the failure to something that may not have been your end goal.

That is how i do 98% of my projects. I have a beginning point, and an ending desire. They never match up, and that is one of the reasons i do not take on commissions.

This scary looking lass started as a beautiful Italian woman. Things quickly got out of hand on the first stage when i went in to dark with the rib definition. Going over darker colors with lighter colors in a painting usually muddies up the art work, so i did not consider that an option. At this point, i had failed the end goal.

The next of my favorite sayings come in here now, a saying i find true. "A person with nothing to lose, is the freest of them all".

It is to easy to just say "i fucked it up, in the trash it goes." I take in on as a challenge to see where failure can take me.

I went in DARK, i painted with a heavy hand, as i have always been told by my mentor that i paint to timid. "screw the world, damn the torpedoes" whatever empowering statement you want to use. I turned up the music and lost myself.

My paintings usually sit on my work bench easel in the garage. I see it as i leave for work, i see it when i come home. I was somewhat pleased with the outcome, but she mocked me at least twice a day.

Something wasnt finished, beyond the "I created this, I hate this" self loathing from being your own worst critic. I spent days like this.

My final "epic move" was the blacken the background, it was better than to let it stare at me each day, I had to feel "finished".

It was after doing so that i turned the page and let it go, to move on to my next experiment of relaxing terror.

I had all but forgotten about this painting, as i have most of them in storage, or flipped over on the sketch pad. It was only when i started looking for past projects i have done that i found her again on a flash drive.

She still tries to mock me, but I feel i won the day, and turned the page.