What your marriage looked like after the outbreak

The outbreak affected everyone's lives, and different groups were affected differently.

New coronavirus pneumonia makes many couples who usually spend only a few hours a day staying together 24 hours a day, a "companionship" with little personal space, resulting in unbearable disgust and tiredness. The secondary harm of the virus may count as a "destroy marriage".

On the other hand, however, a long period of "isolation" brings a good opportunity to reflect on marriage and long-term relationships, and those marriages that break down as a result may be blind from the point of being "combined" - divorce is not a virus, blame, or humanity itself.

Since the beginning of March, there has been constant news of "divorce" and "epidemic", such as the outbreak that exposed 20 million people's "pseudo-happiness" and even after the outbreak, the first thing to do is to go to divorce.

But at the same time, also saw some people say "the outbreak is over, I want to run to the person I love, immediately marry him" "finally know the original in my heart and you, has not been put down. "The outbreak has given me a glimpse of who I want to marry most.

Marriage is an institutionalized spouse, including sexual relations, wealth sharing, living together, and on this basis to give responsibility and obligations.

When the government requires cohabitants to raise unemployed partners, or to pay partner support after a break-up, people are looking for a new, less "loyal" form of marriage.

Despite these trends, most people still hope that they will eventually enter into a formal marriage. About 70 percent of respondents said marriage is "critical" or "important" to a full life, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

Even among Norwegians keen to cohabit, marriage is an ideal, but its meaning has changed. The practical shell of marriage is disintegrating, but the core meaning of its "commitment" remains.

Marriage is becoming a form of marriage that allows couples who love each other to consolidate and celebrate their relationship, as American demographer Andrew Cherlin put it in 2018, "Capstone" - a symbol of the ideal life and relationship.

This outbreak, we should understand a psychological professional term "alternative trauma", literally can be seen, originally not victims, but replace the psychological trauma of others. It wasn't a patient with new coronapneumonia, but in the face of 24-hour news of the outbreak,

Emotions are unwittingly brought into anxiety, with varying degrees of emotional distress, pain, anxiety and fear, helplessness, and insecurity. This kind of psychological anomaly caused indirectly by witnessing a large number of cruel and destructive scenes, the degree of damage exceeds the psychological and emotional tolerance limits of some of the population,

Psychologically known as "alternative trauma".

See the news to see crying, during the outbreak at home insomnia many dreams wake up, this time how hope that lovers can give themselves comfort, a warm hug, a gentle gaze, a magnetic "I."

But the reality is that you either don't take care of it, or count your feelings, or they're just ignoring it. Support? Comfort? Emotional connection? Dream.

In Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Estonia, France, Georgia, Norway and Sweden, the median age of marriage is at least three years later than the median age of first childbirth.

One Norwegian interviewee said: "We got married 11 years after giving birth and we spent our young time with our child, so it was to celebrate love." "

Similar ideas have also emerged in the debate about same-sex marriage. In 2006, American sociologist Katrina Kingport interviewed gay people who had married two years earlier.

Some respondents referred to the legal nature of same-sex marriage, while others said it was a political act, but most were more concerned about love in marriage. Ms. Eddy talked about her same-sex marriage with Julie.

Eddie and Julie are mixed-race, but they come from different families: Eddie is a descendant of white and Native Americans, Julie is a white and Middle Eastern child; Eddie is in foster care with a low-income family, and Julie comes from the upper middle class.

For them, says Eddie, marriage means that love beyond their respective backgrounds is over. "It's not about class, it's not about race, it's not about anything like that," she said. It's just that two people do what they have to do because of love, marriage is love for each other. "

Is the end of marriage coming? On current trends, it has come, as disruptive and unexpected as the asteroid that hit Earth.

Formal marriageends the hegemony of the form of a relationship, but formal marriage sits, only changes and is more marginalized, with multiple relationships in the position of the original formal marriage.

For trying couples, they can choose to cohabit in loose ways; for those who do not want to enter into a formal marriage contract, they can choose to register with cohabitation; and there are a number of niche options: separate disengagement (long-term couples retain their own separate home), table-based relationships (kitchen-table polyamory, intimate to non-monogamous couples who can have breakfast together) and so on.

Marriage is weakening and becoming more diverse, but it won't go away any time soon.

What the disaster has changed. Lowers the end of patience? Increased willingness to practice in a timely manner? Brings a sense of urgency in life? It seems that the epidemic changed together, but it just gave the vast majority of people the courage and opportunity to change, which direction to go, how fast or how slow, have their own decision.