I Failed BUT Not a Failure
There is a cuddly little toddler in front of us, for the first time attempting to walk. He is walking slowly coming to our direction. Oops, He's out of balance and stumbles on the floor...
https://parenting.firstcry.com/articles/your-48-week-old-baby-development-milestones-care-tips/ (edited)
But wait, he is standing up back on his feet. He smiles as if he's telling, "I can do it, just give me another chance." He moves his legs again, one, two, three..., a huge chair bigger than his size makes him fall for the second time. Is he going to stand? No, he bursts in tears. He’s crying - yes,he is, But one thing for sure he’s not crying because of shame or embarrassment that he fails to walk toward us. He is crying because it hurts to bump into a chair and fall not on a soft pillow but on a hard floor.
As we look at him, there is such a delight painted on our faces. We know in our heart that one day he can walk or even run. The delight is doubled when he attempts to move with eagerness. What more, when he get back on his feet from falling with a big smile. When we see that he stumbles, we still celebrate because we know that he’s work in progress. Not to mention when he cries, we dare not say he's a fool, rather we are ready to reach out and say, “You did a great job. I believe in you.”
Let me ask you, when was the time we started to transform I failed to an IDENTITY I am a failure? Or when was the time I ever thought that when I fail, I am a failure?
Here is a story I would like to share. There were couples of a three-year-old-child. His parents showed off his unbelievable ability. But one day, The child did something unforgivable – he didn’t get number one in preschool. Yes, in PRESCHOOL. Everything changed with just a snap of a finger. His parents didn’t love him and we're not proud of him any longer as they used to be. What had just happened? At a very young age, he was labeled as a failure. Maybe it was not spoken, but it was obvious.
It is great when our loved ones expect something from us. Isn’t it? but what makes it devastating is when we don’t meet their expectations, and as if we don’t have the right to fail or even to learn from our mistakes. To make it worse they compare us to others.
Who among you has ever received a simple appreciation from his or her teacher? For the very first time I received one from my English teacher. In front of the class she said, “Miss Robecon did such a great job!” My speech wasn’t perfect, but the statement she uttered was like Thor’s huge hammer that smashed the wall of thinking that am a FAILURE. From that day on, I started to say to myself, “I failed, BUT I AM NOT A FAILURE.” It’s a daily battle in the mind that I have to win.
People around us, especially our loved ones can label us as failures or they are there to uplift us - and say it’s okay to fail and learn from our mistakes. But I would like to tell you - STOP PLAYING LIKE YOU’RE ALWAYS THE VICTIM.
Put this in mind, the great men and women of the past, present, and even the future (will) fail (ed) not once, not twice, but mind you countless. Failures made, make, and will make them even greater. Are we one of them? A failure is an event NOT A NAME. The toddler who stumbled failed, NOT a failure.
To end, somebody, I would like to whisper into your ears, you are not a failure, at times you fail because you choose to learn and grow. Don’t you? Failure is inevitable. Be like the toddler - get back up, smile, and when you bump into a failure(s) bigger than yourself, cry at the top of your lungs if you need to, but don’t you ever give up.
YOU AND I FAIL, BUT WE ARE NOT FAILURES.
God bless you always!