"Bredlik" Meme Contest (100 SBD + 50 Steem to be won)

_{By ulleo on pixabay.com}

There are few memes that I really enjoy seeing over and over again. One of them is "y'all'd've", another one is "bredlik" (you might notice that they're both "linguistic" memes. I might be a bit of a nerd when it comes to that).

If you don't know "bredlik", you might want to check out know your meme or just look at this screenshot from the original Reddit post:

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I know, I know, it's an old one. But I still love it. And I want to see more of it again because it has died down by now. What better way of achieving this than making a contest?

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The rules

• Write your own, original bredlik and post it as a comment (one entry per person, potential winners will be googled to confirm originality)
• If you're a known spammer/scammer/plagiarizer, you're excluded from this contest
• If you're caught stealing a bredlik from someone else, you're excluded from this contest
• You have to stick to the proper "bredlik" structure. Here's a summary of how it works:

The anatomy of a cow poem, or ‘bredlik’

The poem is generally first person and begins with “My name is…”, unless part of a series; series are structured as dialogues.
Cow poems are in strict iambic dimeter.
A cow poem has the scheme XAXAxBxB.
The cow stanza is a 6-line stanza followed by a 2-line ‘punchline’, varying on “I [do the thing]//I lick the [thing]; much like Benadryl Cabbagepatch, the closer the conformity, the better the effect.
Spelling is more-or-less phonetic, especially for vowels, with some exceptions (classical cow poems make exceptions for “I”, notably) and certainly no numbers; the effect is often described as 'pseudo Chaucerian’. The grammar too is fairly standard.
Or to put it another way:
My naym is pome
And wen you noe
The rouls that mayk
My strukchur floe
And poeits bend
Tou hone ther art
I mayk you smyl
I tuch the hart
Source

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The Prizes

We have 100 SBD sponsored by @reggaemuffin and 50 Steem sponsored by me, @suesa . These will be split as follows:

Judges will be the both of us.

The contest will end on the 21st of April, 11:59 pm/23:59 GMT+2.

Good luck and have fun!