Great job for doing this, @fukumineko. Finally, there will be a space for people to share thoughts on things like these. You have my support. It's 3:30 am and I'm still up, dealing with my own demons, too. No, I am not suicidal, I am far from that. But I have been there, too. I BELIEVE YOU CAN GET PAST THAT BECAUSE I DID. So keep hanging on and fighting strong to win it.

At this point in time, no way in hell will those thoughts visit me again. Hahaha! Alam mo yung, weird pero, sabi ko sa sarili ko kahit anong psychotic break pa siguro mangyari, I will never think about hurting or killing myself. Ewan ko, pero andun na ako sa level na yun, na siguro kahit mabaliw mabaliw, ma Lucresia Kasilag at tumira sa Baliwag Bulacan ang lola mo, no way in hell will I hurt myself. Hahahahaha!

So, eto ako, dealing with my demons. Listening to "If We Hold On Together." At iba pang Disney songs. Hahahaha! They remind me of my childhood. They remind me of life. They let me see how I've come so far. They let me recall how I have been so blessed. They remind me sobrang sarap mabuhay. They remind me masarap magmahal. They remind me of all the good things in life.

Minsan wala ka makausap at sobrang bigat. Music will help. Rest will help. Food will help. Friends will help. Family will help. Faith will help. Yun yung huling baraha ko... Tumitingala lang ako sa langit, sabi ko, guide me and give me strength to endure kasi kita mo ko, hirap na hirap na ako. And I tell you, God never fails me. Never. In anything. Sobrang malas ko sa madaming bagay pero di kailanman mahihigitan ng kamalasan ang lahat ng biyayang bigay niya sakin. Sobrang swerte ko. Kailanman di ko pipiliin maging negatibo kasi damang dama ko siya. Feel his love, always.